{Whimsical Rachel}

I am a terrible blogger...

2012-01-19T16:58:00.000-06:00

But you probably already knew that.

However, I do promise to get better at it and do something about this.

Because, believe it or not...I actually do want to be better at it.

Not sure why...just, you know...there's something...cute about keeping a blog...?

I'm sure there's a better way to put that, but, I'll just leave it at that for now.

~Rachel

P.S. ~ There's a LOT we need to catch up on! I mean, wow...

So it's Autumn yet again...

2011-10-12T17:40:00.001-05:00

It's the most beautiful time of the year! *Insert picture of leaves changing colors and blowing in the wind* I love October! It's quite possibly my favorite month out of the entire year. I love the weather, it's absolutely the closest thing to the perfect weather, in my opinion. ;) Plus, special, wonderful things always happen to me in October, it seems. ;)

What have I been up to, though? The last time I posted was...well, I honestly don't remember, because I haven't visited my own blog in awhile. (But you can scroll down and see the last time I posted if you care enough to know, haha.) Well, instead of giving you a long, drawn out and boring overview of what's all happened since then, I'll just let you know what has happened as of late.

Let's see... I have been busy with school, and ballet...rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal! We have a lot of performances this year! Presently, we are preparing for performing Corbeau next Saturday...yikes! And then we have the Moscow Nutcracker performance next month, and then in December we have 3 Nutcracker performances with the youth orchestra... (2 locally, and 1 in New York City! Hurray!)

Oh yes, and on Saturday (the 8th) I played paintball for the first time! ;-D I went with my brother Joseph, and our friends Adam and Erika...must say, it was a blast! I did better than I thought I would. *You wouldn't believe all the horrible ways of getting pelted with paintballs I invisioned for myself beforehand!* We are all determined to go back and play again sometime. Hopefully we'll have more people coming to play with us then!

Well, I'll just bring this to a close, because I'm sure nobody wants to read me rambling on anymore! ;-P

~Rachel

It has been quite awhile, dear blog of mine...

2011-07-25T19:30:00.000-05:00

And I am really very ashamed of myself, as I always am when I have failed at consistently keeping up with something. I will try to do something about this, and make up for the posts that never were written and should of been. :P

Sincerely,
Whimsical Rachel ;)

It's been awhile...

2011-05-15T22:42:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I last posted...and boy, a lot has happened! Let me rewind a couple weeks back...April 27th. Many parts of the state of Alabama were ravaged by tornadoes, including my town. Thankfully, our house is still standing, but many trees have fallen, and homes around us got severely damaged or destroyed. Our street didn't even look the same. My family got hit the worst by the first series of tornado systems that hit early morning of April 27th. The deadliest storm system hit later on in late afternoon/evening hours.

We had no water or power for a few days. It was really dreadful. ;-P But, not nearly as bad as it could have been! We are SO extremely blessed by God!

I will write more about it later, though... ;)

I want to go somewhere

2011-04-08T22:03:00.003-05:00

I want to go to a place I've never been to before...but at the same time, I want it to be familiar. I want to go off to a place of my very own where I can't be interrupted...on the other hand, I'd like for you to go with me so I won't be alone. And on the other hand...well, I don't really even know what I want anymore...

Have you ever felt your heart sink? Like...literally? My heart sometimes, - when I begin to fear about something I really care about, it really feels like it's sinking within me, and that I'm going to be swallowed from the inside out, like it's a vortex sucking the life out of me with impenetrable force. (Okay, so that was a rather verbose-exhausted sentence.) I don't like that feeling...but at the same time, it is good to know, that there are things in the world that exist that I feel strongly about. It's just, I don't want to lose those things...

Setting Priorities Straight

2011-04-01T20:25:00.001-05:00

As of late, I find myself in a web of confusion of not knowing which things in my life should get more attention than others. I occasionally lose sight of the vision God has given me just for my daily life.
I go through those days when I feel like I'm wasting time, investing it in the wrong things. We naturally, (well, most people, anyway) seek purpose and meaning. And when you fall short of feeling like you're serving your purpose, you get that hollow, empty, or just plain dull feeling.

I then make up my mind that I will focus on more "important" things. Gotta' get those things done first, always! Don't want to run out of time! (Always telling myself James 4:14:"...for what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.")

Alright, well, wait a moment - what consists of "important", exactly? My mind can be so cluttered and full of ideas, it's very much like cleaning my room - "I just don't know where to start!".
(And speaking of cleaning my room...)

But what's the first thing? What has ALWAYS been the first thing? (For me, anyway.) You bring it before the Lord.

For every season in your life, there's a time for different things to take place. You have different obligations, say, as a young child or teen, then you will as a grown adult. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven,".

The hard part, for me, is learning to accept things in the present moment. Or, should I be doing things to change the way situations are in the present? So very many questions I have!

But I know deep down inside, and well - everyone should - if you come before the Lord with a deep longing to know what you should be doing with your life, well, He won't mislead you! If you have a question, or a desire, don't hesitate to ask.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." - James 1:5-8

Things to do...

2011-03-24T12:28:00.000-05:00

Tonight is my night to make supper...oh joyyyy! Nah, I don't mind. It can be fun. When I figure out exactly what I *want* to make, that is, and if everybody in this house is in agreement. So, satisfying 11 people, is somewhat...of a task! A daunting task. But, I have a way of making people agree with me. Not sure how...Hmm, must be something I was born with. But, so anyway, I can get people to do things - things they don't even want to do. My latest on going task at hand is convincing Benjamin to eat all the food on his plate. (I really don't like it when people are picky eaters, because it's extremely insulting to the person that cooks the food!) Well, we'll work on that!
So today, I'm going to have to run by the discount food store and get some things for supper, as well as LEMONS. I have a hankering for wanting to make...lemonade. Yes, and, I also can put lemon juice and mix it up and use it as hair wash... yes, I really did just say that. And, besides, it brings out a lighter gold shade in my hair. :-P Hmmm...should I!?

I am really content right now. Hallelujah! ;-P

2011-03-23T16:46:00.000-05:00

Today, my dad helped me reprogram the desktop so it actually WORKS like a fairly brand new computer. :-D I am so, so, so happy! Because this makes it really convenient for me now. (Since it's in my bedroom, too.) So, right now, I have my bedroom window open wide and a NICE Spring breeze blowing on me, got my headphones hooked up to the speakers so I can listen to music, and I am writing this blog post. So yes, I am a very happy girl right now. Eeep-eep! Did I mention that I am a very happy girl right now??

According to little sister Beth...

2011-03-17T12:29:00.006-05:00

Amanda shall marry a man with the initials "D.L.H."
I shall marry a man with the initials "A.H.E."
Abigail shall marry a man with the initials "E.A.I."
Mary shall marry a man with the initials, "T.A.L."

(Pssh, she conveniently left out herself and Rebecca.)

6 year old Beth wants us to keep a record of it, and I might mention that we don't know any young men with those exact initials, but Beth is insistant...In the meantime, Abigail has a hard time believing there can be any nice sounding surname that begins with "I". Hmm...Ichabod?

Thankfully, she hasn't yet decided what the boys' future wives' initials will be yet. ;-P

If "pro" is the opposite of "con", then what's the opposite of "progress"?

2011-03-15T16:35:00.001-05:00

..."congress"...

;-P

Weakness...?

2011-03-13T14:23:00.003-05:00

‎"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be
weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40:31 (KJV) - always makes me feel better on days when I feel weak. Weakness is nothing to be ashamed of, because God is our strength, we realize we need Him so much and depend upon Him when we are at our weakest state. I praise God in my weakness because of that. And 2 Corinthians 12:9 "...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Love you!

~Rachel

Where has Rachel been?

2011-02-27T22:25:00.002-06:00

You have probably begun to wonder just where I've been this past month. Well, I'm still here, I promise you. And perhaps, if your imagination is a very good one, you could have come up with a very good, reasonable guess of just where I have been and what I have done, etc., etc.
Being one of nine children in a rather close-knit family, you might infer that me getting time away is a very rare thing. It is. Not to mention being the 2nd oldest. Responsibility out the wazoo, I tell you.
Anyway, for the most part, this month has consisted of ballet, school, excessive piano playing and singing, and a week-long trip to Tennessee. If you haven't figured out which one is the most rare of all, let me lay it out for you:

REVIEW

Find the Rarest Monthly Time Indulgence of Rachel Read:

Ballet (like all months), school (like all months) excessive piano playing and singing (yep, like all months), and a week-long trip to Tennessee (unlike all months).

[Sorry if that was structured too freakishly similar to your last annoying academic test for your liking. Again, my apologies...] So anyway, naturally, being away from my family for a week is a big deal. (And let me mention that I am the ONLY child that has ever ventured off...I get restless, you see, I have wanderlust sometimes...haha) Everybody acts like I'm leaving home for good when I go somewhere. And, knowing my sporadic, random, haphazard-always-getting-into-mischief ways, I can't exactly blame them. So when my dad jokes that I might fall off a cliff, lose a limb, or fall in love and get married to some whacky, loser hobo runaway man (the whacky loser hobo runaway man being the worst possible scenario) there is some element of seriousness and concern. Of course, what they don't know is, I can take care of myself very well, thank you!

Anyway, so, let me just get to the POINT of this stupid story. I went to Tennessee to stay with our good friends-practically-family, the Abbotts a week ago. (Well, the 13th is when I got there, and got back by the 20th.) It was just nice to be away for awhile, and have a break from the normal, daily routine of being a Read. I was an Abbott for a week.

And I also got to go to Nashville! So that was a fun experience. But yes, I was away...from my family for that long, SHOCKERS.

So that is where miss Rachel Read has been.

Oh yes, and since I was over there on Valentine's Day, here are some of the goodies Mr. Joel gave to me, Angela and Ms. Lindy. ;)

I will write more about my [mis]adventures and all that good stuff later ;)!

Chasing Dreams

2011-01-28T22:38:00.012-06:00

[Photo courtesy Angela A./Tiffany S.]

This was originally posted as a comment on a dear friend's blog post, but I thought it was long enough to share and post as a short blog entry. ;-P

"I have had so many dreams, goals and ambitions in the past that sometimes never end up happening and it becomes frustrating.

I can in some way relate to this feeling you are describing. I chase after a dream - about anything - me and a career, me and a certain person, I don't know - just any sort of dream - and then realize, that the dream was one that was never real - never true, never going to come true - because it was not planned for me by God.

So I got to the point where I would have to step back, surrender and say...'Lord, let what happens in YOUR will happen in my life, not what I want - because ultimately, what You have in store for me is far better than anything I can dream of - You are my Creator, You are the first 'Dreamer' - and I want to be in Your dream, Your will...You know what makes me happy, and You do want me to find happiness. And nothing I want can compare to what You want for me. I have to fall back and trust You. For You are the Author of my love story, and it is unfolding slowly day by day.'

But in the end...Never, EVER follow 'your' heart. (Sorry, but - you're just going to have to tune out the Disney Princesses voices, haha.) Follow God's heart for you. It will never mislead you. It will always guide you, and care for you and love you. Guard your heart, and never, ever give it away prematurely - that opens up to the gateway of regret, pain, remorse, and chasing a dream that shall never be. (Which, in its' own way, becomes a nightmare.)

And I know sometimes, when things don't go the way you envisioned it, it feels like it's the end of everything - everything you've stored and contained in your heart for so very long - GONE. Like that. How do you go on, and readjust, after dreaming and thinking about something that just shatters before you? Is it really the end?
In one sense, yes - it is the end... of a misleading dream. But it is NOT the end of everything. And we are taught, in God's Word, to hope and seek the Lord's Will in all things. Seek the heart of Jesus in all things - and you will never, ever be misled.

Keep your heart safe - it's a keepsake - it is precious as well as priceless!

I love you!

~Rachel"

So, in conclusion, dwell on this simple verse from Proverbs...

[Photo courtesy goes to Angela A./Tiffany S. - edited by me.]

Happy Birthday, dear sister

2011-01-23T15:08:00.002-06:00

Today is my ONE AND ONLY BIG sister's birthday. (See, she's the only big sister I have...I have only 4 little sisters and 3 little brothers, but no other big sisters/siblings. Yeah, you get the point.) Here are some pictures from today. I'd go through and add captions to them all, but I think they speak for themselves enough. ;-)

"How much I love You" ...Childlike faith...

2010-12-25T22:25:00.000-06:00

Right now I'm just really overwhelmed. No, no, in a good way. I'm overwhelmed with the fact that I have a Savior who loves me. And has given me SO many things. I have been blessed with so many amazing gifts and blessings - not just today, or this year, but my entire life. And I'm slightly depressed that words cannot completely express how I feel right now. Sad that anybody reading this will just look at these words and be like " oh, a cliche' Christmas post" - no, this is just stuff that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I just happened to be posting it on this day.

So many things - good things - have happened to me, and happen every day. It's just so strange to have God love me, and make it known to me in so many obvious ways. He is my number one, and always has been. Since I was a very, very, young child.

A few minutes ago I was smiling, remembering when I was bout 4 or 5 years old, walking around the neighborhood court we lived on in New York, praying, talking and singing (almost incessantly) to God my own songs and own words, and being excited about talking about God to all my little friends - because I was filled with that spirit of child-like faith that Jesus loved. I miss that. I miss being so carefree, so sweet and young and innocent, and so trusting. I wasn't really a fearful child (well, okay, so, people think I'm fearless enough as it is) because I prayed all the time, I was always asking God to look out for me, I was always believing God was looking out for me. I am so thankful I was like that as a child, and I don't really know why. I guess my parents raised me right ;-) but, in retrospect, just remembering how I was when I was a little girl, inspires me. As odd as that sounds. I wasn't a perfect child, by all means, no - but I knew that then, and I tried to be the best I could be - and amazingly enough, I had a concept of a lot of things - of how important forgiveness was, - never letting the opportunity slide to talk about it to friends or ask forgiveness for things I did wrong, (even the small grievances, haha) the importance of prayer...and I was always looking out for taking a friend quietly aside who was *not* doing the right thing. But as I have grown older, I have found that to be...well, extremely hard. Sometimes it isn't, but other times, it can be so ridiculously challenging, I just want to give up trying to be that way.

So that brings me back to the spirit of child-like faith...That's what so many people are lacking, as they grow older and are tainted by just knowledge...just knowledge of the world. Knowledge. Isn't that all it was - the knowledge of good and evil - just the KNOWLEDGE, that God was trying to keep Adam and Eve from, in the very beginning? Why can that be so...damaging? *sigh* It's amazing just what that can do to you.

But I am so thankful for always having Jesus there in my life. And I am completely, 100% serious when I say I do not remember a day in my life without being aware of Jesus as my Savior. And obviously, nobody on earth can compare to the love I have for Him. He has given me hope and drawn me closer to Him through and in the most unexpected, unusual ways, that only God is capable of orchestrating. I am just in total awe right now...and anyone else reading this has no idea...at all...I'm sorry if it's confusing. But right now, I am so thankful for God...for being blessed with always knowing Him, and I just can't help but write down how I feel about that.

My mom still finds old drawings, and notes, and reminds me of the little printed up pages I authored, from the old type writer (from when I was about 4 1/2 and I started typing - yes, I started to learn to read and was introduced to typing at a very young age) my first words being (besides my name): God, love, Jesus, Savior

And I was content in arranging all the little words that I knew at the time, and making them mean something that, well ...meant something to me.

Blanked out...

2010-12-02T23:26:00.000-06:00

I don't know how long I've had this page open...but for however long it has been (something I really don't want to know) it has remained, for the most part...blank. What is wrong with me, I can't think...I'm quite sure there was something I had in mind to say, but...........I can't find the words to say it. Hmmm...well, this is a nice predicament. Well, don't be deceived - I haven't really been sitting here the whole time trying to write anything in particular and been blanked out. See, I just have developed the habit of being easily...distracted...*Has a bazillion tabs open on this browser at the moment* But, I feel like I must put something down.

Anyway. Because this particular blog is here for just my pointless musings, and nothing really DEEP and amazing, this is enough, and I suppose, will suffice for an entry.

Oh yes, and this will be my first December post...DECEMBER???? No! It can't be! The year is almost over. :( And what a jolly good year it was. It will be a shame to see it go...Hmm. Am I too sentimental?

Yes, I believe I am.

So, I made these...

2010-11-28T16:59:00.000-06:00

AHAHA, so, last night I decided to *attempt* to make music videos for the 2009 BBC miniseries of Emma...and this is how they turned out... Well, I guess I wasn't set on making a music video...my creative juices were just juicing last night, and I couldn't resist. Enjoy!!!! The first one is so funny to me... ;-P

If only...

2010-11-23T19:08:00.000-06:00

This might end up being a rambled post...so, be forewarned.

And there are so many things I'd like to say. So, who knows how this post will end.

So, what and where have I been these last couple of days, weeks, months? I mean, I haven't really written anything detailed. *Tries to think of different interesting things* Well, okay, Sunday was a dance performance at the Festival of Trees event in Gadsden at the Cultural Arts center. I was supposed to show up at 12:30 for rehearsal, I got there at 12:50. Linze was not happy with me. *I felt awful* After briefly chastising me for being late (cause, I didn't get the extra accessories for my Waltz of the Flowers costume - I was the only dancer there without the green ribbon and flower attached) she said "Rachel, you are very beautiful, you just need more confidence." (made me feel a little better, but I seriously am NEVER going to be late ANYWHERE again!!! EVER!) See, I didn't feel very confident during the rehearsals, and I know I didn't look it, but when it was time to perform, I felt much, much better. Even though I made a couple mistakes, I don't think anyone but Linze and me would know them, thankfully. ;-P

Afterwards, I saw Hunter! Of all people. =P I'm glad he stopped by and watched! And he was very nice to come up to me after the show and say something sweet to me, as it's been awhile since I've seen him. :) (Hope I can see him, and then Jordan and Jesse more. I'm thinking epic First Fridays in Gadsden could happen sometime in the near future for us, hahaha.)
I got a lot of nice, complimentary comments. I don't really know how I feel about it, though. Haha, one lady came up to me and tapped me on the arm and said (very enthusiastically) "You're such a beautiful dancer! I just had to tell you...you are very beautiful!" and I'm like...either you're extremely exaggerating, got me mixed up with someone else, or need your eyes examined! No, jk. I at least hope people meant what they said. To make someone smile and happy by my dancing, is the greatest thing ever. To me, anyway. :)

Anyway...haha, Amanda and I were just looking at some of her old embarrassing blog posts...*more like...LAUGHING AT* and it reminds me though, that I have a TON of those! Way too many! I want to just...ahhh! They're so embarrassing, that I can hardly bear to go back and read them or to delete them! Oh well...hahaha. That's one thing to keep me planted on the ground. (Oh, and note to future Rachel: I know this is gonna be one of those old embarrassing posts someday, too, haha!)

I wish I were more...articulate in some posts...haha, I mean, I really can BE. I'm not ditzy and stupid, I can honestly say that about myself with confidence, so I hope I don't come across as that. Don't judge me, please!!! Not by my old, ancient, immature posts...eeeeek! Or well...I hope my writing now doesn't seem that way either.

*SIGH* IF ONLY.......

A Girl like Me

2010-11-20T22:36:00.006-06:00

Why is it that the average person can't appreciate a different, set-apart girl like me? Why does it seem like everyone else out in the world is trying to conform me, just so I can be like them? Do I have to be like the world to be loved or admired? I have a stubborn streak I don't think anyone will ever be able to tame though, so, no concern of that ever happening. But why does it have to be that way??? There is no in between. No neutrality.

Not to sound cliche, but I am severely misunderstood - most of the time, half of the time, pshh, and all of the time. You get the point. But it's ever so annoying. And I can never figure out who or what I want to be? What kind of girl am I? Am I the silly little girl everyone would just laugh at? I'm not ditzy and naive; but some people really want to paint me as that. I am not that way and never will be. But who am I? The girl that tries in vain to be a writer? A dancer? A musician? So many different things I want to do, so very little time. It's like several different people all rolled into one. Each side of me could take a complete separate life of it's own, if allowed to grow. Who knows what I'd be if I let each one of those things manifest themselves in me and come to their full potential. But I have to choose just one...*sigh*

If only I had talent, wisdom or beauty or something. If only I weren't so blind and an epic failure in practically everything I dabbled in.

And the more I think about how different I am from all the rest of my friends and family...I wonder what God was thinking by making me this way. Is there not a person in the world who could ever, ever understand me? No, that's not it - is there not a single person in the world that WANTS to at least TRY to understand me? (That's what matters the most to me - even if they can't, that they'd at least want to, or did.) Someone that holds me in high enough regard and esteem that they would want to take the time to figure Rachel Read out? I'm not that complex and confusing, am I? I feel like I'm just one lop-sided half of something. I am not complete. I'm just a piece of something that isn't yet whole. But at the same time...!?!? I don't know. Where's the other half of me? I need to find it...or maybe I have, and I just don't know??!??

But who does God want me to be? How can I live the fullest to His glory??? How could I bring glory to God at all? *serious real life sigh* and why, oh why do I have these strange spiritual relapses where I lose hope and sight of God's vision and plan for me? *Verse comes to mind*

"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy." - 1 Peter 4:12-13 (KJV) Ohhh, and it probably doesn't even FIT me. How can God love such a ridiculous individual such as me? I have faith that He somehow finds something in me...but what about other people? Am I going to be an "unlovable freak" (as I dub myself on days like this) forever, ever and for always?

So, in the meantime, I have come to the conclusion that there is ultimately NO ONE...no one in the world that ever, ever could love or appreciate me in the way I would want them to. Because...after all, who could ever bring themselves to love a girl like me?

No one. Not anyone at all.

Dancing in the Woods

2010-11-05T21:34:00.003-05:00

..............................Yeah. I did that today. With my MP3 player playing its' songs..........I danced in the woods...alone. I am a very strange girl, aren't I?

Old picture of part of our woods (taken by Abigail)

The gales of November

2010-11-04T19:34:00.000-05:00

Well...it was quite cold today! And rather windy...I didn't get to ride my bike to all the places I would've liked today! Here are some pictures from today...me holding Rebecca mostly. ;-)

November the 1st? Really? Already!?

2010-11-01T15:40:00.001-05:00

Well...the year is almost over! And I don't know what to think about that...I mean, this has been an interesting year for me. I'm slightly attached; I don't know if I'm ready for it to end just yet. Well, let's just hope that between now and December 31st, that it seems like a long time. I don't want 2010 to end yet, because it's been a good year. Ups and downs, but in short, a very good year for me personally. Hopefully next year will prove to be very good as well. ;-)

Tonight at dance we're going to be taught a master class by the Alabama Ballet. I hope that goes well...I'm not feeling my best right now. *Pressure's on* Tickets go on sale for our Nutcracker production this very moment! It's going to be really good. You might think I'm just being biased, but this is really probably going to be ONE of the best versions of the Nutcracker, because it's so original. lol It's just better than your average Nutcracker, and we have a live orchestra, so there. Take that. Linze is a gifted choreographer, and the guy arranging the music for the youth orchestra is going to make things really cool, too. Anyone who misses it, I'm really sorry! Well, wait a minute, if you can make it and don't, then you'll be sorry, not me.

Now, I need to start getting some money in for New York next year. Ahhh...*Stresses out* Oh well, please keep praying for me, whoever reads this, hahaha.

On a random note...Ah, I was looking over really old posts on this blog of mine, yesterday...my gosh!!! I am SO embarrassed! You don't even know. Well, consider me stupid for drawing attention to it...but I at least can laugh at myself. =P But really, anyone who has gone back through my archives...be forewarned, I was so stupid. *blushes uncontrollably* But lemme' guess, this time next year, I'll be saying the same ole' thing. "Oh my, I was so stupid! Eek, eek!" You'd think eventually I would be getting smarter, but every year I look back over and realize just how stupid I was, repeatedly, it's a cycle. *Sigh* That is why I am destined to be an unlovable freak!!!! Destined or fated...Lol, jk. Anyway...I better end this before I spout anymore idiocy.

Yours Truly,
~Rae Lee

RANDOM PHOTO TIME:

Sidesaddle.

Ben is trying to be cool like me. And vice versa.

"I present to you...daa princess of...Uzbekistan!!!!" "WHAT, what did you call me?"

No comment.....lol

Favorite site as of late...

2010-10-31T18:05:00.003-05:00

I love going to this site to read these stories...and thought some of you might find them interesting, too!

http://ylcf.org/courtship-stories/one/

Even though primarily girls will be interested, I don't think it would kill a guy to read any of them either. haha

75 cents is going to get me to New York City. Hurray.

2010-10-30T16:08:00.002-05:00

..........................................No, I actually don't think 75 cents will get me to New York City. But the kind, charitable people at the garage sale this morning do! Well, I'm not hating on the people who left the 75 cents. Just the other bazillion people who didn't leave 1 cent!!! :( It might would've added up to something wonderful, a grand total of maybe a couple dollars or more! Something about the fact that I didn't get more than $1.00 in donations is just discouraging. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. Help. Nobody loves me!!!!!!!!

Sighed,

(whoops, I meant "signed", but, sighed will do as well.)

~Rachel

Best joke you'll hear in awhile...

2010-10-28T23:14:00.002-05:00

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

Tornadoes in October...Why am I not surprised...

2010-10-27T14:29:00.001-05:00

Of course, the fact that not ONE tornado warning siren went off this ENTIRE year around here until October, is slightly surprising. Haha. So, yesterday was the first "batten down the hatches!" take cover in the basement day. And as usual, nothing amazing happened, all the cool parts of the storm went somewhere else. But, I guess I should be thankful, lol. It's been nice and windy here, too. Dance class was canceled yesterday, so it was a rather boring day. Next Monday we get taught a master class by the Alabama Ballet. I'm excited! This Saturday is the garage sale...urgh...I'm praying I can make some $!!!
Dad left early this morning to go to West Point, NY for business. Hope he has a safe trip! My family lived in West Point for 3 years, '96-'99, many memories there. :)

There's so much I should write...but, I'm so behind on things, I don't know where to start! And that makes things worse. I have been looking through some old post drafts, and perhaps I should post those...hmm, I'll consider it. :)

Yours Truly,
~Rachel

I saw these shirts in Wal*Mart...

2010-10-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

...So, since my ballet class tonight was cut shorter than usual, I ended up accompanying my mom at the weekly Wal*Mart grocery shop. And I passed some of the clothes...(lol, I sneaked 3 cute tops into the cart, too!) Because I can sometimes have a weakness of looking upon lovely clothes and end up spending a fortune on them because I want them so badly, I try to avoid looking at those aisles anyway. (My inner voice of reason: Listen to me Rachel, you gotta' start saving for your NYC trip for next year!!)

But right before we checked out, I broke down and sneaked a peek at the clothes, ONE LAST TIME - hoping that perhaps God would lead me to the right top...just one that I would end up finding that happened to be a reasonable price so that my dad wouldn't kill me, I might just get lucky!

Well, I was greeted with a whole rack that had huge words on them, and they read...

"ONLY VAMPIRES CAN LOVE YOU FOREVER."

Uhhhh, wow.......how..............profound. Well, lemme' just say, that Jesus can love you longer than "forever" (I don't think girls have a concept of forever anyway, haha), so beat that, imaginary vampires!

And NO, I did not buy one! I should've bought one for a friend as a joke, though! But it wouldn't be worth the cash, cause she'd never wear it, come to think of it.

Anyway, I still can't figure out what kind of half-wit would walk around proudly with that tacked onto themselves...*Apologies if anybody out there happens to be wearing one*

I thrive off of encouragement

2010-10-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

I'm just realizing a funny thing about me...I thrive off of words of encouragement. I can learn from and handle words of discouragement (yes, I really did say that), but I absolutely cannot stand it when people say NOTHING to me at all. For example...when I was younger, and I was trying something out, let's say, playing the piano. I did best when people complimented me, or explained how I could get better. However, if anyone listened to me and gave little or no response at all, I was crushed. Because, I took it negatively, *I was...I was... REJECTED*

It's weird.
I can handle criticism - constructive, perhaps even destructive, (because if anyone ever tears me down verbally, it pumps me up to prove them wrong, that's just my attitude, haha.) But when I don't get a response, it kills me.

MORAL of this story, you ask?

Getting no comments on my post...KILLS ME PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Goes off to die a bit*

Of course...I'm just kidding.............................right? =P

Oh no, Rachel you failure!

2010-10-01T23:28:00.004-05:00

..................Well, you are probably shaking your head in shame at me. October 1st, and finally writing an entry!? Poor September was never honored or graced with a single blog post by me. Not even a smidgen! I am utterly and profusely ashamed. I shall try never to let such an atrocity happen again. Months from now, I will look back at my blog archives and notice that noticeable gap "...June, July, August, October - August, October!? September, where the heck have you gone, darling?" and then remember it was on account of my sheer laziness of not taking time to prevent the probability of a month space gap.

But, if it makes you any happier, do know that I have been writing in my paper-based journal. Oh and, sorry...I can't seem to figure out a way for you to read it! Tough...but, I will, and I mean it this time - I will remain faithful to you!!! I promise! I will not abandon you, dear lonely blog of mine!

Signed:

Yours Truly,

~Rae

Laughing Bride Tells All

2010-08-11T17:17:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci6Bt90ggRw < This is such a sweet story.

And here's the original video -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clw7SAJs_6w

In which Rachel & Jillian almost lose their lives more than once

2010-07-19T14:38:00.021-05:00

I am always one to look for trouble. If anyone asks who the trouble maker is in my family (of 11, mind you) they will direct you to Rachel Lee. I have the uncomfortable habit of always looking for it. But I'm never so set in my ways of trouble making when I am in the company of my kindred spirit, Jillian Clark. (Another fellow trouble maker, as you can imagine.) We are adrenaline junkies, I guess you could say. Cliff-hangers...We do crazy things for the thrill. We also do stupid things for the thrill. There is never any way of knowing exactly WHAT we're going to do when we have a visit planned. I can honestly say there is never a dull moment though. There is always something...

If I were to just mention keywords of WHAT happened (in just a span of 4 days) you would probably be so curious, so intrigued, you would beg me to tell you just exactly what happened. (And be aware that I'm only highlighting the ACTION sequences!) Truth be told, I can't even think of any...So, I will just tell you the story.

So I will start from the very beginning...At least, I'll try to.

July 15th was when they arrived. (Later in the afternoon, early evening.) Obviously, in the first day of any visit nothing that spectacular ever happens. But our trouble making ways (which we have tried to keep away from...we really can go too far) began to surface. At around 11, we decided to go for a BIKE ride. Now, this wouldn't be daunting, except for the fact that I live in the country, the rode is...to say the very least, frightening at night. Anything can happen on that street, and so, anyone (even a person with very little imagination) can see/hear/feel more than they'd ever want to. And I will say, that my street is really dangerous - even in day time.

Honestly, this is a stupid thing to do, and extremely dangerous in so many ways. I'd never even really DONE it before, but I conned Jillian into doing it. So, we hopped on our bikes (I had to use Abby's bike, since my bike's ruined back tire has not been replaced yet), and set out down the rode. I could write a novel on practically every feeling that went through me and Jillian. It was so dark, you could barely see the rode! (I mean, once your eyes adjusted, it was easier...but there was NO moonlight, so it made it very hard!) It was TORTURE. I get the shivers just remembering how horrifying it was to go down there - two girls, down a street when it's pitch-black = not a very good combination. I felt like someone or some thing would come jumping out of the woods at any moment! There were ditches, rocks, gullies of water we could have driven into. I have to remind myself that I'm sane, sometimes. But we KNEW what we were doing - we wanted a thrill, and we got it. That night, we came back into the house out of breath and with a very rapid heart rate. We were then asked "WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?" (you'll find this end segment repeats several times throughout this story). We then proceeded to explain the whole tale.

Next day. July 16th...
We wanted to try for another bike ride. But this time in the day time. We are accustomed to long, excruciating bike rides. The kind that leave you half dead, or half alive. (Depending on your personality and current out look in life.) So, here we go. Taking a route we'd never gone down before on bikes. We kept going, going, going. Uphill, downhill, just going. It's about 2 in the afternoon, just the worst time for being out in the sun. It was very agonizing. We didn't bring ANY water (but somehow thought to bring a camera!? Yeah, we're major geniuses!) and so, you can imagine how painful the way back was. It was awful. I learned that in each situation we got into, the words "deny yourself" kept coming into my mind. I kept trying to figure out what that even MEANT. Deny myself? I'm panting, wanting to give up, but I'm trapped. If I just gave up then, I would be in the middle of nowhere, with no water, no anything. Jillian was always almost half a mile in front of me the whole way there and back. And then of course I had to get used to passing people in huge semis, cars, and motorcyclists staring at me, honking, laughing and waving at me. My face looked like a tomato. And I just wanted to pass out. I probably would've, if I hadn't had the stamina. Actually, I had no stamina. I found myself just praying for mercy. "Let it RAIN, Lord, right now!". No rain. (And guess what!? Later that afternoon, it POURED!!!!!) I suppose I just needed that feeling. I found myself thinking about Jesus and just praying. It sounds odd, but it made what I was going through seem like nothing at all.
But really. It's the best thing you can do to yourself. You're trapped miles from home, the only way back is to practically kill yourself. My mouth was a DESERT. My heart was thumping. I'm sure the same could be said for Jillian as well. My muscles were so tired. The wind...ahh! Was HORRIBLE. The wind was blistering hot. My hands were stinging from the blisters my bike handle bars were giving me, too. (And the bike gears were messed up and the chain kept popping so it was tough! A stubborn bike is never good on a long journey.)

Having to stay on track and not go off the road was getting harder, too. Looking down at all the possible wreck locations if you got off the road was just beautiful, too. Let's say the same thing heat, blisters, tiredness, and scariness went on all the way until we got home. We came inside, all eyes looking us over and then saying "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?". We then explained, everybody looked shock at the extremity (and stupidity) of our journey. Jill and I guzzled down a gallon of water, and then jumped in the pool.

Later that day, we got so restless and longed to do, as we put it "something else". (Not said the typical way you probably just read aloud in your head. The way we uttered those words had an undertone of something...sinister. But at the same time, a spoonful of innocence.) HAHA, so, we took a walk. YES. A walk, just down the street. We were hoping to run into more trouble. First we passed the impossible Mr. Brewer on his ridiculous tractor. *Apologizes for bashing Mr. Brewer* We then noticed a trail...well, I'd seen it a hundred times before, but it was a trail that led to his property. Jill BEGGED to go on it. It looked cool... It was overcast about then, and very windy, so it was a good walk. I just hoped he hadn't seen us. It kind of led to nowhere though. An old shed and other various uninteresting things. We needed adventure. I even entertained the idea in my head of being chased by a huge dog! That died away shortly, as I am terrified of being chased by a huge dog. (Oh, not to mention Jillian... She's had her share of mad-dog-chasing stories.) Anyway, so we kept on walking until we got to the end of our street. (We decided to take a short cut of Mr. Brewer's creepy trail, to get back on the main road.) We got to the end of the street, and went to the graveyard of a church that was across the road. We looked a little suspicious. As usual, we garnered plenty of attention from passers-by. It sprinkled rain, (we again wished we had had that pleasure earlier! AHH, rain when we NEEDED IT!) and we kept on walking down streets. We came to one old, dirt country road. Let me say that the atmosphere was extremely creepy. I got the shivers walking down it, - we both did. It was getting very stormy, and we kept walking. The wind was picking up. Everything was so breezy and empty. It looked kinda' like that tornado scene from Wizard of Oz. Oh great, we're gonna get chased by a tornado. We kept walking down the road...The horses in the fences gave us a stare down. Something about that place didn't seem RIGHT. As if something awful had happened there once, or was GOING to happen. We passed a lot of lonely looking houses...At the end of the road, was when we got confused. There sat one of the tiniest houses I've ever seen. We saw a date marked "1843" on it. Something about it made us laugh. What an odd thing. The wind kept picking up! It rained bigger drops, and infamous dark blue-gray clouds were gathering above us. We wanted to go to that house though. We kept daring ourselves to knock on the door. I still think there was something THERE that we just didn't find. We almost reluctantly walked back to the main road, looking behind us (yes, we turned into pillars of salt!) with sadness. That was unusual for us, we usually always do anything to put ourselves in danger. It's hard to resist the curiosity. LOL, it's all very sub-conscious in one way, but, at the same time...we are aware of it. We're just naturally drawn to it. *It's a curse we haven't discovered how to break* We kept walking, and it kept raining. More looks and stares. We were becoming regular road-side ornaments. We looked kinda like runaways or hobos. And we had our share of sympathetic, confused and mocking receptions. We got home, and were greeted with another "WHAT HAPPENED TO YA'LL THIS TIME?!?" comment. We were all wet and famished, so, of course it was expected. The hardest thing was explaining why we'd just walk several miles to places we'd never been to before and places we didn't want to BE around. All for the sake of adventure and curiosity...

Next day. July 17th...

The aforementioned days pale in comparison to this day...A family picnic at Noccalula Falls was planned several weeks before by my aunt, but we decided to take the Clarks along because, well, for one, the rest of our extended family didn't mind them, two, we didn't want them to just sit alone in our house all day, and 3, they are family to us anyway. Let's say that Jillian and I weren't in for what was coming to us. I happened to wear one of the most classiest, beautiful dresses I had, and Jill was wearing a cute Forever21 shirt. Oh yes, and we were both wearing sandals. Okay, so you don't care to hear about that, I understand, but it is a vital detail. Jillian was NOT expecting Noccalula Falls to be so awesome. I hadn't been there in awhile, and had forgotten all the fun that could be had there. The waterfall is really beautiful there, and all the scenery and rocks and stuff are awesome. It's called Noccalula Falls because an Indian princess (named, SURPRISE, SURPRISE - Noccalula) took her life by jumping off the 500 foot edge because her father had promised her to some man from another tribe, and she was in love with a man from her tribe. (Intriguing tale! It is TRUE, too!)

^Noccalula Falls (It wasn't as full that day, as it is in this picture...See the blackness behind the falls? It's almost like a cave, but open like an amphitheater. We went behind there! And those rocks on the left, well, it cuts off the huge ones, but we climbed on those!) I wish I had pictures of the rocky gorge, though.

That is the Noccalula statue.

So there's this huge statue there of her jumping off. It was cool. Anyway, to get to the good part! So, we went down to the bottom of the waterfall, and it was amazing. Abby, Mary and Sarah (Jill's sister) came along with us. We got some pictures. (Abby's artistic skills as a photographer are amazing!) We finally got down to the main portion of the waterfall. It was incredible. Really, it's one of the prettiest natural waterfalls I've ever seen. The structure of it is amazing. You can't help but think of God when you see amazing creation. (I think even unbelievers THINK of a creator when they see it. It has His artistry written all of it! They just try to deny it.) It was breathtaking. The location is awesome, a movie SHOULD be filmed there! I have decided. *Will film one* Anyway, so, Jillian and I, being as we are, decided to take a SHORT cut. Well, more like...I don't know. We told Abby, Mary and Sarah to keep going on the main trail, and that they would meet us up there - we were going to climb on the ginourmous rocks that surrounded the waterfall, to get to the other side. Oh boy. I think I forgot to mention that when we first ENTERED this section of the park, there was a huge sign posted that said "DANGER!!!" with warnings of how it is recommended to stay out of the water, off the rocks and gorges, all that stuff. So yes, there was a sign with big letters - "If you die, don't say we didn't warn you" - with better wording than that, of course, but you get the point. Here Jillian and I are, in the absolute WORST clothes for climbing, (remember that awesome dress I was wearing, and that we both had sandals!) and we're the only people THERE that are actually gutsy enough to be doing this. We were perched so high. Let's say this garnered a LOT of attention. (Not like we wanted it! We looked like ABSOLUTE FOOLS!) I'm daintily trying to climb across these rocky cliff edges, precipices, the wind blowing up my dress *I was so embarrassed* and then trying so hard not to fall...It would've been bad if I had fallen. I saw a few people with cameras out, that were uncomfortably pointed in my direction. I think they wanted me to fall so they'd have a great youtube HIT. I was gripping on for dear life! Jillian and I were coming up with different ways to get out of the situation. We had to go through all this brush at one point, and my legs were being scratched up with thorns. (It hurt BADLY!) My palms were getting sweaty. But it was all so satisfying. Holding on for dear life, in a wine colored summer dress, with a classy belt an all. (You know, it looked like those pretty dresses from the 50s, 60s!) And our hair is long and flowing all about. We probably looked more stupid than awesome, because of what we were doing. When I looked up and saw how far I had to go, I kept saying to myself "There is no way I'm gonna make it up. I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna get hurt...this is going to be AWFUL!". But those same, stupid, annoying words that I kept hearing when I was on that long, treacherous bike ride - "Deny yourself", kept coming to my mind. What does that mean!? Furthermore, where did that COME from? It sounded familiar. I don't know why it was hard to figure out. The less I thought of myself, and those words, the easier it was to get to my goal. I was crawling on the edge of a precipice (if I were one to faint...) looking down ever so often, but not with fear. Moreso in awe. My sandals were terrible for rock climbing. They were so slippery on those rocks.

Our audience held their breath until I finally made it to the top! WOOHOO!! SUCCESS. *Jill had to cheer me on, for she was in front of me and made it first* We had beads of sweat pouring down our faces...It was crazy. But we made it to our destination!

Unfortunately, our little sisters ABANDONED us by the time we reached the top where we were SUPPOSED to meet them. We were so offended. They were probably embarrassed by us. For a brief amount of time, we felt like we were the ones dependent on them. We had to catch up. We finally found them, and had to cross the gorge. It was so rocky, it was easy to get across. Oh, the fun that this was! We went back to the picnic group...Only awhile later to be back for more adventure. We were originally going to take another route. We walked down this little trail, and saw there was a drop off. We peeked over the edge to see how far down it went, only to be greeted with a nauseating 500 foot drop off. NO fence, no anything. Just a ledge of doom. That weak feeling in your knees you get when...yeah? That. I was on my knees, swallowing hard. It's a pretty sight, but it also makes the sheer smallness of your existence wash over you. The realization of how small you are in the world, and how easy it is to just lose your life... It was a sickeningly beautiful moment.

We followed the rocky gorges again, looking in at all the crevices and caves...It was incredible. That's when we decided that "The most unexpected things in life, are the best,". We had a great discussion, and I honestly wish it were all on film. This whole little adventure we were having, hey, even our dialogue, would've made a great movie! =P We finally came to a spot we couldn't get by, and went back. Only to AGAIN try to conquer the rocky gorge. We kept going. It was the kind of thrill we had been looking for! There were so many close calls. There were times when I almost lost my shoe, and stuff, and myself. (When Jillian wasn't even looking!) There were gaping holes and caves that if I fell in, well...it would be hard to get out. I'm not one to really SCREAM or overreact unless I'm in a lot of danger. I can keep calm. We both are good at that. We've had enough training for that. We came to this one part where two rocks were close to each other, but not close enough to not have a crevices, which, if fallen into (which would take some squeezing) would guarantee no easy way out. I sat daintily on the edge, not wanting to budge. "Come on Rachel... hurry up!" Jill called. Dang it. I hated getting embarrassed by having to admit what I was afraid of. I felt like I couldn't get passed it. Finally, Jill broke the ice and my fear by saying "There is NO WAY you can fit through there, Rachel." *I started laughing and then finally urged myself jumped down* There were several times like that, but I garnered more strength and less fear as I got more experience from each scary situation. We had finally gotten passed the last are that had confounded us. We were going so far, and hadn't gotten hurt or anything, so that only meant we should keep going. So, we kept going. We came to a part where the rocks were SO large (it's impossible to describe how everything was, exactly) that we couldn't really see over it. We kept going with "I just gotta' see whats on the other side!". This time we heard another waterfall! We were overcome with intense excitement, and would do ANYTHING, anything, anything at all...to get to it. It was an addiction, I tell you. We couldn't stop and go back then. We'd climb over any rocky gorge, no matter how huge. We just HAD to see this. Things were getting harder as we went along. It took a lot of thinking, a lot of consideration, to figure out which way to go, which rock to climb, and the method of climbing. "After all this algebra, problem solving and process of elimination we've been studying!?" We had a good laugh. It was surprisingly tricky! But the kind of problem solving I'd take any day! I felt like I was in a video game! Going through each level, trying not to touch the water (I was NOT going to fall into the water, no! There were probably snakes, and I would feel terribly if I ruined my dress and shoes.) I mentioned that as we had gone along, things were getting harder. It was more and more dangerous, the rocks were strangely getting larger, and our feet were slipping more. We weren't going to turn around now, of course, we had to see the waterfall. Jillian was in front, so she got to it first. I was lagging behind (hey, it's hard when things are getting caught on you - my dress was a magnet!). Ah, everything was so gorgeous. Now we came to one of the biggest rocks of all. It was sloping downward. But no big deal, this was nothing. Jill went down slowly. "This is getting harder." She said. I was going to say "Not really." Until I reached the rock...then it did seem really scary. She got to the bottom slowly. "This is so easy to slip off of, be VERY careful!" She warned me. She was going to jump across. This was daunting. It was a long jump, and you didn't have much to spring from. The angle was really bad, too. Having to jump, alone!? No one could hold you or get you across...She took a jump for it - and MADE it. I was relieved, but at the same time, now it was MY turn.

Oh gosh. It was ultra-slippery. That sick, scary feeling took over me briefly. It's okay, I could make it through. I slid down carefully. It was towards the end of my way down that it got really slippery. There was literally NOTHING to hold on to. That's when I KNEW I was going to fall. I looked at Jillian like it was the last moment of my life. "Oh no!!!! I'm slipping!" She had a horrified look on her face. "No, Rachel, you can do it, you can get across, I did!" and as soon as she said that...*THUNK* I slipped right into the water. It was cold. It was slimy, it was slippery. I was wet, my dress, my shoes...*I refused to think about it* Instead, we just burst out laughing. I wish I could've seen it! I looked at my shoes. "Well, at least they match my dress better now." I said gravely. *Jillian proceeded to die laughing* But we weren't laughing too hard for too long. It dawned on us that there wasn't really anywhere to go from there. The rocky gorge kept going, but there was so much water, and you would have to swim to the next batch of rocks. And we weren't going to do that. "Oh well, I guess we should go back then." I said. "Oh great, this is going to be hard." Jillian looked back at the sloping rock. "There's no way I can JUMP UP there." She was right. "Well...We could just walk through the shallow water and climb up on it." I suggested. I wasn't AS revolted by the water after falling in it. At least I hadn't completely gotten drenched though, and just wading through a portion of it wouldn't be bad. "I'm just going to try it." She had her mind set on jump back up. Great, if she made it, I was sure to just...fall back in. *I could feel an epic fail coming along* It was time for us to get back now. Jillian had brought her cell phone and had already texted my mom earlier to say that we were just hiking around. So, Jillian, denying herself, and not thinking about it, had to force herself to JUMP up onto the rock. She jumped...she made it! I was actually very impressed. I would've made it and then just would've fallen right back in! I was whooping and hollering and then...I slowly watched Jillian slide off (gripping on for dear life!) become consumed by the water. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. She had fallen in worse than I had. Aah! And she had her cellphone in her back pocket! She scampered up to the rock I was on, and handed it over for me to dry. (Psh, on my already WET dress, I wasn't sure if I could do very much to help save our last line of communication.) This made us both come to the conclusion that we could not go back the way we had come. There was NO way up that thing. It was massive, and it was just impossible for two girls, such as ourselves, to hoist each other up without hurting ourselves. DANG. Right then I wished there had been a guy a long with us. Then he could test everything and not us. I looked around. Right...left, forward, backward. Wait a minute...There was no way out of this place. To the right, there was the end of the 500 foot drop. We weren't going to climb up 500 feet. To the right, there was a rock right in the middle of the water that was impossible to jump to, to get to the bank of the other side. In front of us, there was that same stupid rock that caused all the trouble. And several feet behind us, the gorge kept going on, that we would never reach. It was right about then that it dawned on us how serious this situation was. 1, no one KNEW where we were. 2, there was no one around. Jillian and I were the only idiots that were getting into all the dangerous situations and willing to take a risk. 3, If anyone knew where we were, I highly doubted they could or would get to us. It was the worst possible scenario. Jillian kept trying to test different ways...all ending up in a sludge bath. I sat on the rock with our shoes and her phone - I honestly couldn't help laughing. It was like she was fighting a creature in the water. "Oh no, not again!!!" She sad after falling in for the umpteenth time. I sat there cringing, as she slipped down and straddled a rock and then flopped off into the water. She finally came defeatedly back to the rock. "Rachel...we're stuck." We sat there together, feeling awful...It was now thundering. Great. To make this scenario even better, let's add a thunderstorm! And I love thunderstorms! I'd been wanting one for awhile. And now? Blaaahh. This was a very precarious position. "But we ASKED for this. Jill, we've been looking for this all weekend. Trouble. We're never gonna learn." I reminded her of how stupid we always are, making us feel better about ourselves, I'm SURE. We continued looking about for any possible way out. Jill suggested swimming across to the other side. This wasn't going to be easy, and it was rather dangerous. I mean, there were many risks involved. Like...snakes, where were sure to be there. And the wetness and sludge made climbing the rocks hard. We'd slip, fall and dash our heads, most likely. What about her phone, and our shoes and stuff? She just checked her poor phone and it wasn't completely ruined, but still not functioning well. I was getting to the point where I didn't care anymore about any of my belongings left behind. I kept praying to God that we could get out of there. I just wanted to survive this thing and get OUT, get back where it was safe, to where we could just laugh about it. So, instead of just swimming outright, Jill was going to try jumping across again. She jumped, and then flopped back into the water. Okay, the amusement of watching Jillian flop about in the water was getting downright scary! We were gonna spend the night here, STUCK! She then came up to the surface of the water and said, "That's it, I'm swimming across!". I watched her swim to the other rock. She finally climbed up on it, and told me to throw her shoes and other stuff, one at a time, across to her. This was going to be tedious. The water bottle I was holding fell into the water right then. "Oh no!!" I watched it float away. "It's okay, just leave it." Jill said. I tried not to think about getting thirsty, and focused on my aim and not overthrowing. Aim of mine, do not fail me now! Thankfully, I threw the first one and she caught it. I threw the next one and she caught it. Phew, hard part OVER! Well, wait, now I had to throw my shoes across, and then SWIM "with my cell phone OVER the water, okay!?" Jill instructed me. I threw mine to the other bank...I threw 'em high up, to a rock ledge, hoping it wouldn't fall into the cracks. I freaked out when one fell a few feet. "It's okay, you didn't lose it!". Thank God. If I lost my shoes, I was going to have to walk barefoot completely, and with all the sharp rocks, and other things, it would be really just miserable to lose them. This whole thing just didn't need to get any more complicated than it was. Now I had to swim across. Another "deny yourself" moment. Back into that sludge, that sinister water. The cuts and scrapes on my arms and legs were stinging so badly. I don't know how deep it went the water was in the middle, but I know I kept my feet from touching the bottom. The murky water mocked me. I tried not to think of the 4 drownings that had happened there. To make matters worse, I was swimming with one hand held high over my head, upholding Jillian's phone. *Statue of Liberty moment* Then I briefly got on the wrong side of the rock, and stuck my hand inside of a huge crevice and hole inside of the rock. Creatures, snakes...Okay, let's say it was at this point that I remembered there was such as thing as a water moccasin. I tried to stay calm. I swam to the other side of the little rock island, and Jill was climbing up the rocks on the bank now, looking over her shoulder, telling me I could make it. That's when I felt the slime start to pull me under...PANIC! It felt like someone was pulling me under. *You could imagine it was that dead Indian princess Noccalula* Oh no, I could see how easy it would be to really DROWN. I always thought that if you could swim, ha, don't fear drowning. But as I tried to hoist myself on to that rock and climb up, and then slip down again, I fully understood just how serious the possibility of DROWNING was. I gripped on with my one good hand, I was being weighed down by the heaviness of the soaking dress I was wearing. (And that stupid belt was making it hard to BREATHE!) I finally got up on it. Aah! Then I realized I had to JUMP from there to the bank. My energy was pretty much drained. The long bike rides and walks from the previous day began to take their toll. Jill was already at the top waiting for me, coaxing me to jump to the bank. I just trudged through the water and hopped on to the rocks and began the tedious climb up. (This felt like a game of Lord of the Rings, with Jill and I playing Frodo and Sam, hahaha.) Finally, we were free! *Insert hallelujah chorus here* Now we had to go back...ACK. 500 feet back to the top. Not to mention crossing the ford of water to get to the start of the climb up. We went back barefoot half the way, carrying our sopping wet shoes. (Ouch, I got more than one stone bruise!) But just remembering our way back was another problem. Going back is completely different. It's a mirrored view and the technique and methods of climbing the same rocks is different. But thankfully, we could jump to each one, and we could trace our way back easily. There was the old wagon wheel, and then that odd shaped rock, someone else's empty water bottle, a rusty 60's tv set (??? I don't even know how that got there, so don't ask) and so forth. Yep, we backtraced our way pretty easily. Then came the climb upward.

Thankfully there were those stairs. But it was hard not to fall down - these stairs were the epitome of STEEP. I clutched the rail when I got there. "DO NOT FALL!" - Words of wisdom from Jill. I concentrated getting up the long rusty stair case up the cliffside. I was feeling bad and guilty now...ruining our clothes, putting ourselves in danger...we were going to get in trouble now. We finally made it to the top, and trudged out, looking terrible, I'm sure. We were greeted at the entrance *ah, the entrance and all it's danger signs* by Mexican people that were about to tour Noccalula Falls...One lady scrutinized us carefully and then said to us in a thick accent, "Wet?".

^ AHAHAHA, that was an epic moment.

We walked back on the little train track (there was a train that went around the outskirts of the Noccalula Falls park) and walked back over to the picnic area. We could see siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles and other relatives, and crept around hoping nobody would see us yet. The little gate to the picnic area was locked, so we had to climb over it. We walked over there, everybody looking at us as usual. And, as you can imagine, they asked "WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED TO YOU GIRLS!?!?"...We told the whole perilous story, and had to bundle up in two table cloths to help dry us off. Thankfully, our parents were more relieved than mad at us. I was informed by my mom then that it was nearly 5'0 clock and that Jillian and I were almost LOCKED in Noccalula Falls park! So that was a pretty close call.

Abby took pictures of the drenched Rachel and Jillian - I will post them when we get them downloaded.

*WHEW* Okay, just retelling that story has worn me out.

The next day was less eventful...that is, if you consider escaping from an electrical storm and having to avoid getting mauled by a bull uneventful. ;-P

Until next time,

~Rachel

P.S. ~ I realized where the "Deny yourself" thing comes from, actually. Jesus mentions in part of Luke 9:23, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." - I didn't realize the significance of that until today, but now that I think of those events in a spiritual way, I can see how God was speaking to me, and how that situation is a good illustration of keeping your eyes of Jesus. :) I had to do that a lot! Think about Jesus when I felt famished, tired, hot, and hurting.

"Girl with the pretty mouth"

2010-07-14T12:45:00.003-05:00

I was just realizing today a very...I guess...admirable trait of myself that I never really thought about. Actually, no all my siblings are this way and my whole family in general. I NEVER cuss. LOL!!! *Just laughed* Okay, but it's true. I never, ever. I just loathe bad words, and I neva' cuss. It's weird. *Has such a clean mouth* That's like the only good personality trait I have. No profanities! No, I am not the "speech police" though. I don't think I've ever completely judged any person on what they say. (Unless it's, uh...really bad or something - then that would be an image of true character.)

And I'm not judging anybody or implying that using traditional euphemisms are bad, but I find myself not even saying words like "crap". LOL! I just realized how odd that must be. It's not like I really try to avoid it, I just don't talk like that. And believe it or not, I have been picked on by a GUY once for having a pretty mouth...HMM. *Makes me wonder* *Just kidding!*
But I do suppose it is one plus. I guess occasionally I'll use every day euphemisms like "heck" and "gosh" and "darn", but aside from that, I just realized that I am a very G-rated person, speech-wise. Ahaha! Go ahead and laugh at me all you want, but 'tis true. I mean, that doesn't really mean anything though - since I can still insult and hurt people without using bad language. As it says in James 3:8, "But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." Guarding our mouths is hard, but it is something we are entirely in control of. Jesus says that for every IDLE word, we must give account for it on the day of judgment. (Matthew 12:36.)

I suppose I am the type of person that doesn't want to offend/hurt anybody ever. I'm crazy about making people smile and seeing them happy. And I've always been very selective of the things I say and my choice of words. To the point it drives me mad. For example, last night (which happened to be another notorious insomnia sort of night) I was thinking about how I'm constantly in denial and regret over anything I say. "Should've I have said this to so-and-so? I wish I had gotten to tell them this..." and for some reason, it dawned on me how much...it really does bother me. I hate being misunderstood, and giving someone the wrong impression - especially if it is the farthest thing from how things really are. I know that that is hard to figure out (I'm confusing myself as writing this) but I am always so concerned about what I say. And when I say something that hurts somebody, or just isn't good or nice at all...it tortures me. So I've found myself lately feeling so burdened for wanting to take things back or go back in time and say something that should've been said.

One thing I think people should just pray about more...
"...keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies." - Psalm 34:14

For more Bible verses on the tongue...

http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/index.php?search=tongue&searchtype=all&version1=9&spanbegin=1&spanend=73&startnumber=26&startnumber=1

But one personal favorite...my ultimate goal...
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness." - Proverbs 31:26

Image from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aallisonokeefe/4524654158/

I wish I had something interesting to say.

2010-07-13T23:43:00.001-05:00

^ And that, dear reader, is an understatement. I regret that my last series of posts have been following the pattern of being dull, uninteresting, boring, long, and rather stupid blibber-blabber.

*Awkward silence*

You know what I have decided? I need some peace of mind. I've seen the ocean in the last 2 1/2 months, but my wanderlust is not satisfied; not quenched. I'm praying to God that I can get over it. Actually, noo, I'm praying to God that He will satisfy it. Hehehehe...

Don't we all do that? I wish sometimes that the things I want are the things God wants for me too. *Wouldn't life be so easy...?* But sometimes, it's just not. But I can always hope and pray that I will be happy with the outcome. His will is better than mine. It trumps anything I have ever planned for myself. Oh, but is that not so easy to say? But Lord God, I love You anyway. I don't care about my dissatisfaction...Okay, well, that was a lie. *Begs forgiveness* I do care. And I know furthermore that God cares.

I need to read my Bible more.

Do you like ramblings? Those were the actual thoughts that ricocheted in my mind. I hope you enjoyed them. I'm quite the conversationalist tonight, aren't I?

*Sigh* Well, it's late. Not much has changed. I'm still boring, uninteresting, and feeling rather cheeky...? - and stupid.

Tomorrow, if the Lord wills, I'm going to the ballet studio at 3:30. My dance teacher is in London right now! Getting her certification for the RAD (Royal Academy of Dance). I'm proud of her. OH, I didn't update you all on my last adventure! Last week I got locked in a ballet studio. I'm quite proud of myself...*Snicker* I'll tell ya' later!

LOVE YOU ALL!

~Rachel

Pictures from the Beach

2010-06-21T21:41:00.001-05:00

Above: My friend Jillian, and me on the back balcony of our beach condo

It's a long way down - Abby took this picture from the 21st floor of the Colonnades. Those dots are Jill and me at the bottom.

The ocean (sorry that the picture is cut-off, computer couldn't download it properly)

Disgusting oil clumps...blech! Okay, next photo! (This one got messed up too, when downloading.)

Oil in the shape of a heart! Couldn't resist to take a photo of it.

Jill and me on the balcony :) [forgive my odd expression, haha]

Looking for ways to get evicted in the Colonnades gym

Happiness on the beach

Confessions of a Bad Big Sister

2010-06-21T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest...I'm a rotten big sister sometimes. I can be the best role-model (really, I promise you!) but I have the habit of just being the model of pure trouble as well. I'm always encouraging playful mischief. But what can I say, it's one of those personality traits that just defines my personality, er, something like that. (I can always blame my dad, I'm the most like him, that's why he pretends that every weird thing I do is so FOREIGN, odd and unheard of, which in reality...muhahaha! He would've done the same thing too!)

So, anyway, to get to the heart of the story, I will have to explain. We set out on another accidental beach trip. (The first being a month ago in May, not sure if I blogged about it though.) Irony was, it was precisely a MONTH later (June 13th) that we departed to the beach. (Okay, not that it has anything to DO with anything, I just have an eye for cute little coincidences!) We booked a condo at the Colonnades...a BEAUTIFUL condominium complex on Orange Beach...Only, this time we would not be on floor 18, in a condo that could sleep 12. OH no, some other somebodies had my favorite condo of all time, Condo 1801, BOOKED. No, we'd be placed on floor 14, in room 1403. I was disappointed, to say the LEAST. (You don't even know! This one was on the other side of the building too, and it just wasn't as big!) Plus, I had just recently remembered that there was a possibility that I had lost my old best friend necklace (the other half I gave to Jillian years ago) in condo 1801, and I sorta wanted to go back and look around for it, but being in another condo would be an obstacle. I mean, this little piece of history might just be GONE forever! (Abby and Mary tried to comfort me with saying that Sarah Clark lost her bff necklace in the same condo when she visited us at the beach last time, too...her's went down the drain, literally, though, so, no chances of fetching it!) So I opened my rather large mouth, and said to both Abby and Mary that I WOULD go into condo 1801 and LOOK for that stupid necklace if it was the last thing I ever did! I have a way of saying things, I don't know exactly HOW, but I have a way of saying things that are extremely outlandish, but at the same time, sound so easy and possible. I mean, I could say "I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING!" and everyone would take me seriously. (Well, okay, so, I HAVE done stupid things for people to probably actually think me capable of doing other stupid things, so...) So, I kept saying that, and that I would sneak in there and haunt the life out of whoever took OUR favorite condo. (If you know me, you'll probably know I'm fond of entertaining ideas, yes, especially STUPID ideas, and I don't stop TALKING about it.)

Well, this trip was again for business, and anyone who has NOT been on another planet for the last two months, should be aware that there has been an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and that in fact, oil/tar balls are washing up to the beaches now. So there's a little bummer in everything. That aside...I couldn't really complain. After finishing that ACT test thing, I was ready to think of other things. So I let myself look forward to it. It was on such short notice, we'd be leaving in the morning!

I was even more excited with the prospect of possibly seeing my dear friend Jillian again. (Her family and my family have been friends for ages, so you can imagine how our special attachment is.)

And that, of course, WORKED OUT! So, on the morning of June 14th, at around 10am, the lovely Clark ladies arrived!!! It was just a pleasant, perfect sort of day. We strolled on the beach, took pictures, and just fooled around the Colonnades. We ran into Sarah (Jill's little sister), Mary and Abigail a few times. At one point, when playing around in elevator, we happened to go to floor 18. I just went around and jingled the knobs of each door (locked, as usual) until I came to 18. I was accustomed to walking RIGHT into that condo. And I went over and jingled the knob, and it opened. But, for some reason, after all that boasting, I knew I couldn't ever really DO that. I thought about how STUPID it was, and so, I closed it, and ran. Abby, Sarah and Mary acted especially freaked out for some reason, so I asked why. Abby then explained that earlier she, Mary and Sarah had left a "secret admirer love note" (with illustrations of symbols of love, a coffee stain, and a cough drop rolled up inside it) at the door of 1801, rang the doorbell and fled. Jillian and I cracked up laughing - little sisters after our own hearts! HOW RIDICULOUSLY STUPID AND SWEET! "They're like us!" And I'm not gonna lie, we were proud!
I thought it was an ingenious prank! They asked if it was still there at the door, and I told them that it wasn't. So obviously they picked it up! AHAHA, what a funny thing to imagine! And Abby's handwriting is pretty good for her age, it could pass as an adult, probably. We were so proud that they were following in our footsteps. Learning the bliss and excitement of getting in to trouble and having fun. We also felt like we had to step forward and protect them. They told us of some of what they had been doing, and mentioned some story of running into this big middle-aged fat guy who (they innocently did not realize) was flirting with them! (He asked them where they lived and when they were in the elevator together made comments about "How hot the elevator was!" and other such...stuff.) To 13, 12 and 11 year olds? WELL! We were on the lookout for his gluteus maximus, cause we were gonna kick it if he messed with our lil' sisters AGAIN. (Anybody who has a little sister...heck anybody who has a SIBLING, will come across that feeling of having to protect them at some point in time.)

We spent a lot of the early afternoon just chilling and lounging around. The night before, we had eaten pizza, and got 2 free Pepsis! Let me say, it's been an eternity since I've even had a drop of soda of any kind. Jill and I got the last of it, and went out on the front balcony. We stood there, looking out over the pool, and then the ocean in the distance. To break the utter peace of the day, we had the brilliant idea of imagining what would happen if you poured a little drop of pepsi over the balcony - would it land in the pool!? So, yeah, I was encouraged to do this. I tipped over my cup, and then, well poured the whole thing out, and it landed on a mesh-type covering below. Let me say, everyone in the pool kept looking up at us, for probably 5 minutes STRAIGHT. (No exaggeration!) Sarah, Mary and Abigail thought the reaction was oh so funny, and began filling the empty Pepsi bottles with water and dumping them over the balconies. We had to remind them of the EVICTION warning for dumping ANYTHING over and out the balconies (we had forgotten this when we did it, honest).

Later that afternoon, the moms took the younger kids out to the pool. So we had the whole condo to ourselves to do anything. After watching stupid things on tv (one show in particular sticks out in my mind - an episode of "Deadly Women" about a 10 year old killer named Mary Bell - and no, it didn't scare us, we rolled on the floor LAUGHING for some reason...dramatizations are so cheezy, it's hilarious!) Abigail came up to Jillian and me with a pepsi bottle with a pink bow tied around it's neck and a pink blanket. "It's a BABY!" She said. AHAHA, I thought it was cute. "Hey, what if you left it at somebody's doorstep...like, 1801's doorstep, hmmm?" So, I planted that idea. Abby thought it was so funny, but, she said they couldn't use a blanket, they might never see it again. Then Mary had to be all "Oh no, that's not a good idea!" and then Jillian and I had to say "Do it, do it!" and pop them on the shoulder. I mean, come on, what a cute harmless, little prank! A Pepsi bottle full of water with a pink bow tied around it is so innocent. After a few minutes of deciding whether to do it or not, Jill and I finally CONVINCED them that it was alright. "Come with us!" they begged. "Aw, come on, you girls are old enough now to do things without our help!" - see, we'd kind of "graduated" from pranks. Jill being 18 now and me being 17 - well, we HAD to be mature now. We could play pranks, but we had to be very...discreet, so that if we ever did anything like, accidentally break the law somehow, we wouldn't have to go to jail. So, we wanted to encourage them to do things on their own. (We had accomplished far worse in terms of pranks and mischief at their ages anyway.)

After a few minutes, (and getting bored of watching some movie with Angelina Jolie with blonde hair) we decided to check up on Abby, Mary and Sarah since it'd been awhile since they left. We crept into the stairway (you know, they'd be expecting the elevator!) and made our way up to floor 18. Jill got to the door first. When she opened it, the voice of a woman reached our ears. "No more bottles!" I heard her say, in an angry tone. GREAT SCOTT, they'd been CAUGHT! This wasn't supposed to happen! Jill poked her head out and dropped her mouth open so wide a pancake could fit inside it. I dropped my mouth wide enough for a dozen pancakes to fit inside of. PANIC!!!!! I knew in my heart that Jill and I should run out there and save their little gluteous maximuses. You know, that sister protection feeling! Gotta go save them! For some reason, ninja/kung-fu mode just wasn't transitioning right! In a few short seconds I already knew what I had to do, go out there and play it up, "Oh my, darling little sisters! What are you doing? Oh, excuse them, ma'am, they're just young, immature, silly girls that...oh thank you, we knew you'd understand, ha-ha!" - well, that part of me was being overcome with this feeling of guilt. I knew that it was all my fault ANYWAY. That guilt started taking over and I was like, "OH MY GOSH, I GOTTA GET OUTTA' HERE!!!!!" - hearts beating faster than your's in love, Jillian and I took off - bounding down the stairs - bang,bang,bang! The door slammed, it echoed throughout the whole building. It felt like those epic chase scenes in a suspense movie - our flip-flops clammering down hard (it sounded like 100 foot-soldiers marching on top of metal) on the concrete steps. I don't know which floor it was, but we ran out and decided to take the elevator back to floor 14. We jumped in, punched in the number, and got there in a zip. As soon as the doors opened, we ran to the door, opened it and shut it hard. My legs felt like butter, and Jill looked like jello. I had my back against the door and we were both panting and breathing really hard. Joe and Amanda were instantly suspicious and we did a bad job of pretending nothing had happened. And since we knew we couldn't play it off (pssh, plus we didn't care, our little sisters were in grave danger!) we told the whole story. Amanda did not approve, and neither did Joseph, but what else is new!? We got the whole "irresponsible" lecture in a few words (thankfully Amanda was studying all day). A few minutes (which seemed an eternity) had elapsed, and Abby, Mary and Sarah walked in the door...

They had sneaked up the back way (the stairs) to place the ingenious prank idea (i.e., Pepsi bottle with pink bow tied around it) at the door of 1801. Getting to their destination, the deed was quickly done; Abigail doing the dirty work of placing the bottle in it's spot and ringing the doorbell. Then it was escape time! They ran to the door, but upon opening it, heard loud, mannish voices coming up the stairs (it turned out to be Jillian and me, you see, the echoey, long stair case can make even the most feminine voices sound like a freight train), and feared they would be caught. (Sarah was still holding the extra Pepsi bottle full of water.) In a few split seconds, Mary and Sarah were at the elevator - the door of 1801 was opened, and the whoever it was, was right on their tails! Abby ran into the elevator, just as they were being pursued. The punched in 21 (the highest floor) and when the doors opened there, Abby suggested they get out. Sarah and Mary said "No, let's get to 14 as soon as possible!" they punched in the numbers 14 and 3 in their haste, forgetting one vital, inevitable truth that most everyone knows about elevators - when you're up, and your destination is down, and someone in-between your up and your down summons the elevator, it will make a stop to let them in. So, in a few short seconds, Abigail, Sarah and Mary were face to face with their victim. (Although, at this point, they felt like the victims.) And she wasn't the happiest camper. She had a towel on her head, and around her waist and was apparently getting ready to go swimming. "Were you the ones with the bottle?" she posed the deadly question. Sarah, (who was holding the other Pepsi bottle full of water!!) played ignorant with "HUH? What are you talking about?" and Abby and Mary both knew it was too late to get away with it. The little culprits that they were, were CAUGHT! Muhaha!
She gave them a talking to and insisted on knowing what their floor and room number was so that she could speak to the parents. (Around this time was when Jillian and I made our appearance at the stairway door.) Mary, fortunately, has been given the power of making anyone's heart melt. "No, please no!!! We won't ever do it again!!!" She begged, on verge of tears. With that sort of response, it's hard to stay mad, so, she dropped charges, but firmly reminded them "NO MORE BOTTLES!". She graciously showed them where she placed the Ingenious Idea (in the trash room) and the girls then made their way back. (Ingenious Idea still had it's little pink bow tied around it's neck, too, awww!) They then made their way back to where their little scuttlebotts belonged.
We ate a lunch of pasta in one of the bedrooms, their faces looking up to ours mixed with reverence and shame. We made up for not rescuing them by comforting them and telling them they wouldn't be evicted from the building, and that we had done way worse at their age. (They asked for examples, but it was hard for us to find any suitable.) We assured them that they would be okay, and that one day, they'd do something much worse and that this incident could be looked back on as just a slice of pie. They then made us solemnly swear NOT to tell the parents. So, I had to first make Amanda promise not to. She rolled her eyes at me (the way she always does when I make her keep her mouth shut) but kept silent.

I should mentioned that we ran into the family of 1801 several times during the visit. And it's not like Jill and I were that unrecognizable. Jill was wearing a bright, fluorescent, invisible shade of yellow that day. (And she peeked out the door long enough for anyone to see.) And of course Abby, Sarah and Mary (who didn't WANT to go swimming because they didn't want to run into miss Towel-Head Lady) were recognizable when they went down to the pool later that day. (The moms made them, ahahaha!)

I hate to admit it (haha, well, it's kinda' funny actually!) but I ended up spilling the beans a couple days ago. Amanda and my mom were in a deep discussion about how God sheds His mercy on people that don't really even deserve it. "You know when you see little children just begging not to be punished..." my mom was using as an illustration. That's when I piped up, "AHAHA! Oh yeah!!! Like when Mary was begging that lady not to tell---" and yeah, so, I ended up being forced to tell the whole story. My mom appreciated the fact that we kept quiet about it during our beach vacation, she and Mrs. Clark would have been so embarrassed by the behavior of their children..."Certainly this idea wasn't one of my children's!?" My mom said. *rolls eyes* OKAY, okay. Why is it that EVERY time she says that, I'M the one behind, if not MOST of it, ALL of it? She should start saying "This sounds like something Rachel would do...", but that is my dad's line, I suppose. I confessed saying "It was ALL my fault!" - and I'm thankful that's a cliche` confession you hear all the time that you never really pay much attention to, because this time, it really WAS all my fault. My idea, a lot of my coaxing...though, yeah, Jill is QUEEN of making people do things they don't wanna' as well...but you know what I mean. It started with my outlandish wagers that I'd really go stalking 1801, etc., etc.........

Jill and I used Abby, Mary and Sarah to do what we couldn't really DO (play a prank on somebody) because we knew that if we got caught....oh boy, we'd officially be the biggest stupid heads in the history of the world. And that was one title we didn't really WANT to earn. (Even if we deserve it.) But after it's all been said and done...it's really something we can laugh at - in moderation of course...I'm not recommending you go around doing that now, ya' hear!? But it was one of those simple little practical jokes that never get old!

If only my brain could function like a normal person's, then I wouldn't have to worry about.........

2010-06-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

^ *SIGH* I feel like the dumbest human being on the planet. Please, please tell me that there are other people that have problems learning...no, CONTAINING the rules of math and algebra and all that sensible nonsense. I just can't absorb all the stupid laws of arithmetic. BLAH! Tomorrow morning, at 8am I'm going to have to take the ACT test. I'll tell you how it goes later, but I sort of have a feeling I already know...Uhh...Yeah.........PRAY for MAY!!!! *ME

~RACHELEE~

Prudence in Pepperland - ballet recital - TODAY!

2010-06-05T16:24:00.000-05:00

Okay, in one hour, I depart...I depart to the auditorium to prepare for Prudence in Pepperland! I'm pysched, a little nervous, and a little sad (for some people, it's their last show!) and so...yeah! Below is my headshot, of me in my costume (I'm a "blue meanie" ;-P, hehehe) Alright, I gotta go folks! The curtain goes up at 7'O clock...I'll need some prayers! ;-)

I got some 'splainin' to do!

2010-05-19T20:16:00.001-05:00

I'm just leaving a quick little pretty note to...well, explain where Whimsical Rachel has been. I haven't been blogging consistently. I will say it's mostly because I can't think of anything to write. Or, I can think of things to write, but I am trying to figure out HOW to write them. (That is a problem...!) Anyway, I will drop an excuse also, because, well for 4 days last week I was pretty preoccupied...I went to the beach and had a wonderful adventure. I shall write about it later, and YOU shall like it...

That is a command.

The following is a true story..."The Pie, the Deer, and the Owl"

2010-05-09T21:48:00.003-05:00

Forgive me, dear readers (for any reader of my blog is considerably dear to my heart)...or, wait, should I have said "DEER readers"? Allow me to explain...and it will still be pretty confusing to anyone who wasn't in this story but...

This episode in my life is hereby dubbed:

"The Pie, the Deer, and the Owl"

So last week (Friday, April 30th, if you want me to be exact), Mrs. Lindy Abbott and her daughter, Angela came over to visit with my *coughcoughWONDERFULcoughcough* family. The plans were something along the lines of... Ms. Lindy spending a few nights, then going back on Sunday, to then return on Monday or Tuesday with the boys, possibly. But, God had other plans, and sent a flood in Tennessee to keep such things from happening. (No hard feelings, just stating the facts!) Anyway, I could tell you a hundred different stories of the things we did and all, but one particular story rings out in my mind. 4th, a Tuesday night (which I would have been at ballet, but classes were canceled that night) my mom had mentioned that we might would have pie for dessert. I, having not had the exhilarating feel of relishing a delicious slice of pie in quite sometime, was looking forward to this treat. Around, approximately 23 after 8'O in the evening, I posed the question "Wherever is the scrumptious pie we have been looking forward to, dear mother?" (maybe not in those exact words, but pretty close) then my dear mother revealed to me that she and Mrs. Abbott had not gotten the chance to have picked up a pie earlier in the afternoon, and that the little discount store was probably closed. You might find this really odd - but - in retrospect, I distinctly remember a thousand voices screaming a sullen, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in my head at that moment.
This could not be! I would not believe it...but it was true. That is when Mrs. Abbott came to the rescue and offered to take us to the discount store and pick out a delectable chocolate pie! O JOY! (The chorus of voices singing hallelujah would have been playing in the background, had this been a cheezy sit-com on TV) "What time does the store close?" I looked at the time. I was convinced it didn't close until 9'O, but what did I know? "Well, come on, we gotta hurry if we want to get there before it's closed!" Everyone scurried around, I ran upstairs to brush my hair (I always do that before I go anywhere) and slip on some shoes. I knew the directions to this place. Angela, Mary and Abigail were bouncing off the walls and hurrying down to Mrs. Abbott's car. We huffed and puffed, and our quest in search of pie was on. Something about the way we drove out of the drive way...I don't know, but I had a feeling we'd get more than just a slice of pie that night. I looked behind me and noticed Angela had her nintendo DS on and was playing Princess Debut with Mary watching. I stifled a laugh as I also noticed that Abby thought to bring her camera..."What a goofball!" I thought. "In the most trivial things in life, Abigail NEVER ceases to think of her camera. As if something is gonna happen...AHAHAHA!" The stars were brilliant that night. Mrs. Abbott opened the moon roof for us to stargaze, but Angela being embarrassed of this action (it was too sweet for her palate), closed it back up. We drove down the road, to me, what seemed at an excrutiatingly SLOW PACE. I looked at the clock. 8:37...DANG! "Can we go any faster!?" I asked. "You were just getting on to me for driving too fast." Mrs. Abbott said. Oh yeah, that's right.
I must admit, it was a cheerful drive and I wouldn't have changed that for anything. We finally got to the end of our street, and were on the main road. 8:40...20 minutes til 9! But we'd get there in plenty of time, in probably, I'd say, 3-5 minutes. That's when the unthinkable happened...I don't know WHY it happened, exactly, it just happened. We passed a DEER. Oh yeah, you've seen a bazillion of those in your lifetime, aye? WELL, I'll have you know this was a DEER...in distress. The poor thing had it's left hind leg caught in a wire fence! And looked like it was in excruciating pain! We all GASPED and, I think screamed. "Should we go for the ice cream [ironically, she said ICE CREAM instead of pie, on the video clip we have - you'll figure out what I mean later], or save the deer!?" Mrs. Abbott asked. What was this, a trick question? Our tastebuds screamed pie, but our hearts told us...save the poor little deer! "Uhh, I don't know, I can't decide!", I uttered in a cloud of confusion, "Well, you gotta help the deer! What is wrong with you!?" she said. "I've got to help him!" Lindy said. I looked at the deer..."AWWW!" It looked small, like it was a yearling or something. (So yeah, Abby made a short video clip, and though you couldn't see anything, the sound of us gabbing on about what to do is priceless.) The rest I shall transcribe here (until I can upload it on here)
"We've got to help him!" *A million awes are heard*
Abby passes the camera to me.
"You just can't take a PICTURE of him!" Mrs. Abbott says. (Yeah, we looked pretty sympathetic - holding a camera up to a deer hanging by one leg, flopping around)
"No no, we're not taking a picture of it, she's [Abby] just making a video!" I explain, stupidly. "Aw, we'll come back sweety!" Mrs. Abbott said (either to the deer, or to Angela as an explanation for not getting pie, but probably the deer) *Several "We gotta help the deer!" "We must go back!" "Save the deer" insert that here*
Mrs. Abbott: "Let's see...We're gonna need wire cutters!"
Angela: "Maybe it's not violent!"
Mrs. Abbott: "No, we cannot do it!"
Angela: "SURE WE CAN!"
Mrs. Abbott: "Sweetheart, deers [sic] are powerful, they can hurt us!"
Mary: "Aw, poor little thing!"
Angela:"We've seen other people do it with two bucks!"

We drove up to some creepy house (to turn around) "Well, maybe we should ask these people for help - Rachel you should get out and knock on those people's door!" I'd passed that house riding my bike down the road, it was creepy. I looked at that house and thought "GEORGE HARVEY LIVES THERE!" (anyone who's seen The Lovely Bones knows what that means, haha...and we just happened to have seen that movie a few days before, so...happy thoughts...!) Of course Lindy was just kidding, but I for real was creepin' out imagining having to knock on that door! "MOM...it says NO TRESPASSING in giant letters on that sign...Anyone who can read and has a brain isn't gonna want to go over there, someone's gonna come out with a gun and shoot us!" Angela pointed out. So we turned around, and passed the poor deer again. "Oh, it really needs help!" then for some reason, we all chimed in a chorus of confusing screams and shouts trying to figure out what to do. Should we call home? Great, Mrs. Abbott didn't bring her cellphone, and neither did Angela. We decided to go back and get my dad, or my brother, to come and save the poor deer. Pie was the last thing on our minds (well, nah, it was in between) as we heeded the call to take care of one of God's creatures. It was our responsibility, after all. So off we drove, speedin' down the road, in a befuddled fog of a variety of thoughts I blurted out without thinking, "What if we come back and there's just a leg hanging there?" Yeah, I got scolded for saying that one! "What if we come back and someone else has already saved it?" "Surely it'll still be there." we knew God had placed this situation in our hands, for US to save the deer, so it's impossible that anyone ELSE would take our mission away from us! On the way back down the road to our house, we always spotted a baby opossum in the road. We watched it slowly make its' way to the other side...a little impatiently. "MOVE!!!" We all yelled at the poor thing. It moved. We zoomed on back to my house. We got out, picked the lucky winner out at random (my brother Joe, of course) and went in search of a wirecutter. That killed some precious time. We found two...decent tools. Would they work? That's open to interpretation. I told Joe to go get gloves, so he wouldn't have to touch the deer. (Just so he wouldn't catch some weird disease, ya know?) He ran back to find his gloves. It felt like an eternity, and we banged on the windows when we saw him come out and begged for him to "HURRY UP!!!". Abby grabbed the video camera. Oh yeah, she was anticipating some major deer-saving action. She possibly could send our noble rescue to animal planet, and we might possibly land our own tv show or something impossible like that.

So, anyway, there being only 5 seats in the car, we squeezed in. So it was us (Lindy, me, Angela, Abigail and Mary) and Joe. That's 5 girls, with mouths that produce words at frequent rate, and one boy. What a dream! So there we are, zooming down the road, already planning strategies. A young deer could be very vicious, and of course we were already spewing our concerns of Joe's face getting mauled by a deer's hoof. We think of different techniques. I brought a huge flashlight along, so I said I'd flash it right in the deer's eyes - and hence, deer in the headlights - whilst Joe did the rescuing. Everyone agreed that was a good idea.

So we come to the destination...Oh no, wait, the deer was further on down the fence. Yes, yes that was right...We kept driving...huh...? Where'd the deer go!? Then suddenly, Abby, Angela and Mary exclaimed they saw the deer on the other side of the fence. Well, somehow it got away! Disappointment, or relief, swept over everyone in the car. At least Joe wouldn't have to risk getting his face ruined by a deer's hooves. And...PIE! We decided to go for our original goal - the pie. We drove triumphantly to the discount store. YES! The lights were STILL on! The pie was comin' home, folks...well, until we realized the store was actually closed. (It closes at 8, apparently...well, I'm a genius for even thinking it was still open.) What. We went though all THAT for...NOTHING? "Dear Lord, please!" I do believe we all were saying silently. Shouldn't our efforts of trying to go save a poor little deer count for something!? Well...!? Since none of us really give up that easily (especially when the passion of eating pie is ingrained in our minds) we decided to go look for pie at another store. So we kept driving, driving, driving, which seemed like forever...Hmm, this was strange. "Where are we!?" Was asked more than once, trust me. "Maybe we're in a horror movie." - I chipped that part in. We kept driving, looking for the Food Value. UGH. What? Where was it??? FINALLY, we saw the blaring lights of the plaza. It was 9-something on the clock by then, and it looked empty. "That man in there just cussed somebody out!!!! Wait, I think he's looking at us!" Angela said, pointing towards the Waffle House, that was next to the Food Value. "Angela!" Mrs. Abbott said. We all laughed. In the meantime, we parked and hoped for the best. There were some people inside! They were closing up. We'd catch 'em in time, for sure. We ran like the wind, and got to the entrance, just as the employees were making their way out. "Sorry...we're closed," They told us. We all made the saddest pouting faces in the world, and slid our wrists across the glass doors, (making streak marks, most likely) accompanied by several melodramatic "NOOOOs!". But to no avail. Those snarky lazy bums did nothing but stare at us oddly and make their way to their cars!!!! Mortification. We were most offended. HOW DARE THEY! After ALL THAT we'd BEEN through? But we just walked slowly and defeatedly, back to the car. What now? We couldn't go back home all depressed, looking like someone just ripped our very hearts out. Hmm...this was getting weird. We wouldn't give up. No. We must find pie. To come all this way, for nothing? "Let's try Wal*Mart!" Angela suggested. But that would take too long. We noticed a Shell Station foodmart, and tried that. We drove up. We passed a van with two kids sitting in the trunk with the door open. "ARE THOSE KIDS MAKING OUT!?" Angela piped up. "Angela! Those are small children, why would you say they are making out!?" Mrs. Abbott said. "Well, at first glance, mom, that's really what it looked like!" Angela responded in defense. Let's just say we were all laughing at this point. Car parked, Mrs. Abbott and Joe got out to find pie, while us girls sat in the car, anxiously. Hoping...Praying...for pie. It was a little weird, but with all the oddness we'd encountered that night, could you blame us? Abby was filming us off and on with the video camera. We sat there, continuing to hope and pray for pie. And for some very strange reason, everyone wouldn't stop LOOKING at us. Guys, girls, young and old, kept making bewildered faces at us as they passed the car. Ugh! How RUDE! Finally, after what seemed like centuries, Mrs. Lindy and my bro Joseph emerged with their purchase...Oh my gosh, they had grocery bags stacked with pie!!!!!! This was unbelievable! They opened the doors, and hopped in. Yeah, it was unbelievable. "Well...sorry guys, but they had no pie, they had everything else but pie...We bought ice cream though!" Mrs. Abbott explained...A chorus of disappointed "ooohhhs!" filled the stale air of the vehicle. ICE CREAM? ICE CREAM? Are you crazy? We want PIE!! Mrs. Abbott and Joe tried to comfort us with the words (which also happened to be flavors) "Moose tracks, brown cow and cookie dough". We all subconciously stated "It should be deer tracks, brown deer and deer dough.". We weren't too happy with that silly deer right then. We sort of took it all out on the poor thing. "Why'd we even try to save the DUMB DEER?" ...

With the exception of almost crashing 3 1/2 times (well, hey, it was dark, and the way back was confusing, even to me!) we had an uneventful trip back...We chatted about other things to try to recover from our disappointment of no pie, and, well, got a little excited about the ice cream. It was better than nothing, that was for sure. We learned a few things, Mrs. Abbott shared some interesting stories with us. Did you know that Samuel Clemmons (aka, Mark Twain) served in the confederate army during the civil war, but then weasled out? (Yep, it's true!) And we also had heard the famous retelling of Squanto and how he helped the pilgrims plant corn, and other such awesomeness. (Don't ask how we got on that subject.)

We finally made our way to our street. The adventure was almost over. Nothing else could really happen, no more drama, and we could settle down and cherish the delightful taste of moose tracks, brown cow and cookie dough (all beautifully scooped in one bowl, that's what I had in mind, anyway). That's when Mrs. Abbott brought the car to a hault, and brought to our attention, "Look guys, is that an OWL?", we all turned our heads to our right and saw perched on a neighbor's fence post, nothing other than an OWL. It was HUGE. It almost looked fake at first, to me, but...it's head moved! "Hurry, get your camera out, Abby!" Mrs. Abbott said. Joe was getting the flashlight. For some reason, and I don't know what reason, but I had this intense urge, to say in my intense excitement - "IT'S AN OWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" so yeah, I said it (not all that quietly) in amazement. Yes, dear Rachel, everyone knows it's an owl. We're trying to get a photograph of it, duh. *Flipflap* - there it goes - Yes. There went the biggest, most prettiest wild owl we'd ever seen in our lives (and for some of us, the only owl we'd ever seen) all because I had to state the obvious.... (And I find it weird that I'm the one always accusing my brother Joe of stating the obvious.) No, I SHOUTED the obvious. Everyone was kinda mad at me and had something to say about my brilliant move. I hunkered down. DANG, we could have gotten a BEAUTIFUL shot of that owl. And I ruined it! Thankfully, we got it on film...well, not the actual owl (it was all so dark), but me yelling about the owl. "Well, I couldn't tell if it was real or not, and then I noticed it had a head!" I said in defense. But that was a pretty shallow defense. We made our way back to the house. It was 10'O clock. Wow, we spent 2 hours finding pie, and we didn't even find it. But it was all good. The ice cream melted away any bitterness we had in not finding any pie, not saving any deer, and not taking any picture of an owl - and we realized that in the end, the adventure of it all, was, in fact the sweetest reward. [Forgive the sappiness of that ending line]

~RACHEL

"I totally never get on here..." [Old post]

2010-04-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

NOTE: I found this old post in a draft...I don't really even remember writing it. It was dated November 6th, 2009...but I thought I would post it anyway...

I totally never get on here...

But I just wanted to write something.

Ugh.

Recently it seems like I'm out of touch of everything. I kind of wish I were oblivious most of the time...Well, then again, I don't know what I'm talking about. Honestly, I'm not this weak person with self-esteem issues. I just feel...guilty for being the way I am sometimes. Clueless, and argh, I feel like I'm a talentless, good for nothing person sometimes! I do lots of stuff, ballet, write songs on the piano...blah, no one seems to notice. I just get embarrassed and ashamed of dreaming, cause I feel like it's...well, wrong? Like, no one WANTS me to be "anybody". Just stupid Rachel. I don't want to be the cliche 16 year old nitwit that talks about being misunderstood...Cause that is especially stupid! It's just weird how I'm so different...REALLY different, personality wise. I'm so not a glitzy highschool girl. I'm not gonna brag, but honestly, I'm much more realistic...more...down to earth? I wish I could say that.

Forgive my inarticulacy. (If that is even a...word.)

Anyway, I guess I need to spend more time with God. Random, but I was listening to the O Come, O Come Emmanuel song and I just got kind of excited. *LOVES JESUS*

I just want to show people that I'm something more than STUPID. Hahaha...Sorry, that came out of nowhere.

I ramble way too much. I'm just kind of overloaded with pointless things stressing me out. I get myself in to far too many situations.

I guess I need to keep in mind 1 Peter 4:12-13 - "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy."

I made this video for the Priceless Purity site...a promo, you can...sorta call it. I haven't edited it yet. Urgh. I just miss having Jill help me out with it. *Is sure she's fighting her own battles and has her own issues to deal with* But really. I miss US as FRIENDS and DOING STUFF...Together.

I seriously need someone to AMUSE ME.

Rachel: A Day In Pictures

2010-04-23T21:40:00.002-05:00

Not exactly...but...close.

I get back from performing with my dance ensemble at a local elementary school's Serendipity Day.

I take picture of my extremely burned out/hot rosy face to commemorate.

I notice that the webcam makes my hair look green, and I take some more pictures in interest.

It then dawns on me that that is a stupid idea.

A few hours later...

I decide to edit video clips on Windows Movie Maker...Another commemoration photo. NOTE the headphones.

Lose the headphones! I hear some thunder! WOOHOO!

I then imagine getting electrocuted in pursuit of this frivolity...Not fun.

*A few shots later* Okay, by now I'm getting bored of webcam.

I try to devise a plan...hmmm...

Instead, I snap another picture and then later realize how monstrously large my eyes are... =/

DEPRESSION.

And then I realize that there are girls that actually sit around all day (okay - slight exaggeration for effect, but you know what I mean) taking pictures of themselves and do the same thing, but take it all to heart. *FOR REAL* It's so silly, but, uh, yeah, a lot of girls do that. They snap a bazillion, oh - wait, I left out that they go and edit their pictures and make themselves look really different. I like photo editing, but only to enhance or update quality. It gets to a point where it's just ridiculous if you're going to just ravage a photo and steal the utter essence of what the picture actually was OF. I'm gonna be honest, it's easy for myself to get annoyed with the way I look. Having the same face for 16 1/2 years does get to be a bore sometimes! HAHA, but, it's my own, my own personality and gift from God We're not supposed to glorify it, and there is a point in which self-esteem can become "selfish-esteem", if you know what I mean. BUT, you should never HATE the way you are.

Really, I am a very different looking person, I would never classify myself as beautiful, but I do have a uniqueness, I guess. I would never outrightly say ANYONE is ugly, so, no, I will not say I am ugly. LOL, that would really be going too far.

But, oh, I have seen pictures of the most beautiful girls (that I pale in comparison to) and it honestly made me want to tear UP. That sounds vain, but it's not because I HATE them for being beautiful. No, rather, it's weird, but it's really cool to me to see so many different people with different faces, and there are some that are truly captivating, in my opinion. And, yeah, beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but there is always this stereotyped standard in our culture that thinks beautiful is this...certain, I don't know...*Forgot the word* Take Hollywood, for example. The plastic surgery some of these celebrities go through is pretty ridiculous and disgusting. And so we have this standard of beauty...

Really though. This pursuit of "beauty" and perfection is VAIN. It is fleeting...We are in a fallen world, we will never have perfection, or the most beautiful face/figure. So putting all this effort into being beautiful, or chiding yourself for being ugly, is a waste of precious time.

And whoa, this simple photo post has become this novel...I should stop now, I suppose...

For now,

~RACHEL

Happiness

2010-04-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

I am drinking coffee out of my favorite coffee mug of all time - a white with blue polka-dotted one from Poland. Yes, Poland.

Ahh, happiness.

Anyway...my new pair of pointe shoes arrived today! Which is good, but now I have to sew the ribbons and elastic on, and that's a bummin' bit of time to waste! Of course, in the end, it's well worth it. I hope these are the right shoes for me. The last ones, Bloch Axioms...Well, let's just say they got old fast. They just didn't suit my feet, I guess.
These are Blochs too, but the model is the Serenade MK II. Hopefully that was not a bad decision. I might could've gotten the Axioms with the new TMT technology. But those were more expensive...And yeah, anyone out there NOT acquainted with ballet and pointe shoe brands, is not going to understand this language I am speaking. Haha OH yes, and yesterday, I made a sale! Yes, yes, I did. I sold a pair of pointe shoes I ordered a long time ago that didn't fit me. I had them in my ballet bag for a long time (my mom found them when cleaning out the closet a few weeks ago) and they are in perfect condition, since I never used them. I let some of the girls at dance try 'em on to see if they fit. Well, we had a winner! The happy Cinderella, my friend Morgan, got the pair. I was originally just going to give them to her. Just like that, no price. For free. I did. But her mom showed up just then, and was ready to make out a check, and hey, who could resist that? I got $50 for them, so that was a nice surprise. Maybe God rewarded me with the money, cause I had a free-giving spirit. Ahaha =P Anyway, I'm happy about that, just a little extra cha-ching in my pocket makes living easy (easierrr).

Anyway, I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens now. I don't have any great expectations for it, because my sister never finished it, and a lot of my friends said it was a bore. But I don't care, I shall read it anyway!

This is my final week of the P90X workout...and I blew off TWO workouts already. That is WEIRD, I have never done THAT before. I just...I don't know. Just not keepin' up as well at the end. I have been so consistent throughout the entire program, and suddenly ZAP. I'm outta' energy!

*Heaves a sigh* Alright, world...

I haven't blogged in a long time...Sorry...I've been...focusing on better things. ;-)

~Rachel

Well...?

2010-04-14T12:09:00.000-05:00

Well, blog...what should I write about? I'm trying to be consistent and post everyday, but it seems I'm running out of inspiration and my posts are getting sillier and sillier. =/ I'll see if I can think of something creative at some point today.

The Timeless Pastime of American Girls

2010-04-13T10:41:00.003-05:00

I was just sitting downstairs and thought of my beloved blog and decided that I would write a post. I shall write about...books. Or, being a bibliophile. (Lover of books.) I have always loved reading. I learned to read at a very young age, (at 3 or 4 I remember typing my small vocabulary out on typewriter) and it was apparent that reading and writing would always be my strength, academically speaking. (I will say that mathematics was great in my opinion, until they mixed the alphabet in it.) I have always been so into reading, and when I read a gem of a book, I can get through it like a crazy caterpillar. (Like any true reader.) When I was about 9 years old, my mom found this cute American Girl poster at an antique store that was framed, and it depicted Kirsten (the American Girl character) reading a book and eating an apple in the shade of a tree barefooted. Everybody always joked that that was "me". (Yes, people, it was!) Watching Abigail and Mary recently taking to reading made me overjoyed. (Okay, well, you know, happy.) Because, honestly, people that don't "read" books, are missing out on so much! I read books like I eat food, or just taking a fresh breath of air. I read books to escape. To get away, yet still be in the same room and in the same world as everyone else, and yet, my mind is taken where the pages of the book lead me. Reading is just as whimsical and exciting as a dream. You never know what's going to happen next. In fact, in a way, reading a book is dreaming. You're not exactly in reality. You're presented with another world, or the same world, but with different people. (Whether they be real or fiction - you can have dreams the same way.) I remember the first time I read the classics - Anne of Green Gables, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Pride & Prejudice, Little Women, Gone With the Wind etc. I can still read those books and enjoy modern ones as well, but I'll never forget how utterly enthralled I was at reading the revered "classics" and loving them as well. Then I could talk to anyone about them, and actually know what I was a'talkin' about. I could remember quotes, and chapters, bits and details about the characters, their names, and yes, my vocabulary somehow got expanded. I didn't even try to learn, but I learned, from reading the simplest classic novels. And I could make a comment and get mad at a movie adaptation too, for not staying true to the book or keeping in a favorite scene of mine. Yes, the love of reading makes one knowledgeable, I have to say. And I'm not the smartest turtle out there, there are some books that I wouldn't dare read, for fear of not being able to finish them if they are boring. But really, reading is a gift from God. I'm glad the Bible is in the format that it is in, because really, it is the deepest way to connect to a person - through words on paper.

So yes, it's very hard to imagine life without that little package of pleasure and learning. When somebody says, "Oh, sorry, I don't read." I just pretty much give them the most confused expression ever. (As if they'd just died or something.) How!? How can you not have a love of reading? How can not everyone be a bibliophile!? How can you not escape through the pages of a book!? I guess we do need some downright serious mathematicians in the world, but really. Reading is like watching movies...To me anyway. (Of course, reading is always ultimately better.)

So honestly, when I'm just overloaded or want to get away for awhile, picking up a book and reading it is the right medicine. I love to go to goodreads.com and browse around possible books to read, or to rate books I've already read, or read other peoples' reviews of them. Ahaha, it's so fun. *Thanks the Good Lord for readin'!* What would I do without it!?

Whimsically,

~Rachel READer

The Great and Terrible...........Slacker

2010-04-12T11:26:00.001-05:00

Oh, no, no, no! Why did I ever think of it? Ever MENTION it to my mom!? Augh...What have I done. I could have waited another year. But no, I said I wanted to do it this year. It could serve as practice for the future year to come. I need to know what to expect from this thing...Okay, before you assume I am speaking of a completely different topic...Let me explain...

*SCROLL DOWN*

*SUSPENSE*

.........................................................................

I registered for the ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, you're not impressed. You need to understand. I, Rachel Lee Read, am a terrible, terrible student. I am just terrible. I mean, I am so freestyle. To tell the truth, I haven't really done "school" in a long time. I can write a research paper on a whim if I need to. I could publish a book if I ever wanted to, for Pete's sake. My mom just never requires me to do that extra, grueling stuff. I don't believe I've ever really been required to. But I know how to, and that's all that matters. My mom is so relaxed on homeschooling, sometimes it frustrates me. But that's because I am so relaxed, too. I have so much freedom, (probably more than most homeschool kids should), it is sickening. A good sickening. I wouldn't be the personality and person I am if I had not had the freetime to develop different skills and talents and such. But I'm just a terrible student! I can't study, I don't know how to study. Well, I'm fine with the simple things - the readin', writin', history, all that jazz. I appear as a brilliant genius to some. (I will forever disagree, for I know myself too well!) But my worst enemy...mathematics...ughhh, the algebra, the confusion...it is going to be the end of me. Not to mention, I stink at science stuff too...but that's only because I am too reluctant to do it or, I should say, LEARN it well. I close my mind off....Blech. I'm just not good. And I spend my time talking about how hard it is. (Aha, see what I mean?) If algebra were a different language (I'm obsessed with wanting to learn different, complex languages! I'm excited about it, if only I had access to a good program to learn it...I'd be pro!) it would be a totally different story. I wouldn't be afraid of it. That's it, I'm afraid of it. Afraid of flunking it.
But I must remind myself, I can do this. God gave us these puzzles and this knowledge for us to learn, not to just fail at. It can't be THAT hard to figure out. Yes, I must...I must do it. I will do it, I will learn and smile about it. I will not complain. I will not blame my mom and accuse her of not teaching me well in the past. (That is an old tactic of mine, but honestly...psst, secret - it's ALL my fault!) I really didn't believe that my mother would sign me up. I was just cheap talking. I wasn't serious. Well, I was, I do want to take it this year. But I don't want to.

But yes, I decided that if I blog about it, it might make me feel better about it...Hmm...Or, maybe not. We'll see. But a lot of people have faith in me and are telling me I can do it. *A small ray-beam of encouragment pours all over me* Just keep me in your prayers, PEOPLE! Because I am, and always will be, a GREAT AND TERRIBLE SLACKER. * Those were the confessions of a terrible academic backslider*

THANKS!

Whimsically,
~RACHEL

Fire roasted TONIGHT!

2010-04-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!Fire roasted TONIGHT!

^ Yeah, I thought you'd find it crazy, too!

I'm in love...

2010-04-10T19:55:00.017-05:00

My goodness!!!...First of all, today is my wonderful mama's birthday! *HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLARES THROUGHOUT THE LAND* And we were invited to spend the day at our grandparent's house. (To have one of the best, most pleasant lunches in awhile! Haha) That's when I met him!!!! Okay, and I have a policy. I never talk about anyone or anything like this, unless I have a feeling they're going to be an important part of my life. So, yes, I am writing with the greatest care of discretion.

First thing I noticed upon walking into the house was this young, dark and handsome stranger sitting in the corner of my grandparent's living room! (I so wish we had brought the camera today!) This was weird, they didn't say anything about having another special guest here, too! I was...can I say, enchanted!? Absolutely in love...at first sight...No, that's not possible! But... Oh yes! I had to meet him! I had a feeling this was my potential new best friend.

I walked right over to this new and becoming surprise visitor, with stars in my eyes, no doubt. I was then introduced to...George Steck. And he is the most pure, sincere, amazing, awesome...

*HOLD YOUR BREATH, PEOPLE*

...baby grand piano, I have EVER known to exist! *Bahaha* I am a strange person, for some reason, before we left our house, I prayed that they would have a piano there. *I am strange, see?* They haven't had a working, brand new piano in ages. (The badly out of tune English piano in the basement doesn't count.) It was a big surprise, I didn't expect them to get one. And it was there! *Gave God a hi-5* (Sorry, I'm odd.) I spent the majority of the afternoon playing it. I don't know what it is about me and pianos. I have a weird connection to them. I'm addicted. When I hear the pleasant sound it makes, I get into this insanely creative mood, and I start playing things I've never played before, and if it's really good, I remember it. For pretty much ever. I have had friends that would say, "Rachel....RACHEL, stop, you're addicted!" - ANYWAY... But it was the most awesomest piano, because you could also put CDs in and the piano would play it. (Like, you could see the keys moving!) Ghost piano. HAHA, it was awesome. And yes, it's a brand new George Steck baby grand piano and it is so shiny and glossy you can see your reflection like it's a mirror. So yes, I'm in love...with a piano. I hope my favorite German one doesn't get jealous. Bahaha...Or another favorite electric one. I would take it home if I could, but it's not like I need anymore.

And on a random note...Last night, a beetle bug attacked me! It was in my hair, and I couldn't sleep! Ah, recently, bugs have scared me. Which is weird, I don't know why it is. They're just so UGLY looking. Bleccch, it was in my hair! The texture of it's shell thingy was just nasty. *Shivered a million times* AHH...And then, this terrible, AWFUL smell was all over my pillow. It smelled like a terrible permanent marker smell...Well, actually, more like the inside of this guitar case of my dad's. But anyway, it wasn't pleasant, it was just strong. And so, I slept without a pillow for the rest of the night. There's more I'd like to add, but I probably shouldn't.

Oh yes, the weather was absolutely GORGEOUS today. Wow, I'm really impressed with spring this year. It's really beautiful, Lord, thank You for that!!

GOD BLESS,
~RACHEL

Costume Gone Wrong

2010-04-09T10:33:00.031-05:00

The other day, Abigail and Mary were coming up with this real cute Victorian era movie. They needed Amanda and I for some scenes. We had trouble finding costumes for ourselves, though. But, we found some convincing (in our opinions) late 1800s/early 1900s undergarments. And since those undergarments are more modest than most average girl's clothes of today, we didn't see there being anything wrong with putting them on and shooting a scene in them. So, we shot a silly scene of my character sitting outside on a porch getting mad at Abby and Mary's characters for not finding the right clothes for a party. It was kind of cute actually. Just the sort of scene you'd catch in any movie.

Well, so then we wanted to take some really cool pictures...I loved them! I honestly wasn't in a good photogenic mood (my face looks awful in most of them - Amanda is gorgeous) but Abby is such a good photographer! And I thought they looked really cool and made us look real natural...But, there was a little bit of controversy.

Since mostly girls read my blog ANYWAY, I'm not really uncomfortable with putting a few (yeah, there were more! Some were just really pretty headshots and not full-body shots) of them up, so...just so you can see what I'm talking about:

Then my mom had to go and notice how it looked like, in her opinion, that I was just wearing a "bra on top of normal clothes,". "But mom, that's kind of what a corset is anyway! It's more modest than what a lot of people wear today anyway." I protested. Well, then my mom mentioned that other young men might see it in the if I posted it online and get the wrong message...Oops, I already had posted it online. OOPS, I made one of them my profile picture! Uh-oh...There were definitely some people that would misunderstand. DANG IT! I hurried back online and privatized the album and deleted the profile picture. Oh dear. Now that was a terrible thought. I tried to defend myself. I desperately messaged Jill, "I need your honest opinion..." and explained the whole thing. She told me that honestly, it did look like a bra over clothes at first glance, but that after awhile, it was pretty obvious that it was a corset...Then I thought of several guys I knew that would comment on them and WOULD for a fact get the wrong message. They wouldn't see the difference in a bra and corset, same thing to them! See, girls, we don't really think of these things as bad. I still don't SEE it as being bad or wrong. I didn't see it as provocative! It's impossible for me as a girl to see it that way. I wasn't showing any SKIN! Hey, it's not like I had cleavage spilling out! It was just a stupid corset. (But I will admit, it did come from Victoria's Secret...HEY, my grandmother gave it to me! *Okay, that sounds worse* And Amanda, she's wearing one too, but you can't see it. And it was for under our costumes...but oh well.) But I suppose some things might give other people the wrong idea. For real. I look at those pictures and see them being cool and artistic. A guy on the other hand would look at it as "Oh wow...Rachel Read in a bra...over her clothes. Posing. Okay...What's this supposed to mean!?"...See where I'm going? And then they might say something to me about it, or crack some stupid joke. (I definitely know some that would.) We got Joseph to film the whole part of Abby and Mary's movie, and he didn't seem to act like it was weird...well, we are siblings, so that's a little different...well, wait a minute...when Amanda and I first dressed up, he was kinda looking at us like we were losing our minds. "AMANDA! RACHEL! What the hector!?" I could almost hear it. It's not like he could tell us what to wear, so he didn't say anything. And then we did notice when looking at the film, how he somehow conveniently zoomed in on our heads and got the angle just right so at some parts you can't really even tell what I was wearing. What a hero. *Feels bad*
There are so many stupid things I do and I don't realize (seriously, and then it just DAWNS on me, like, OH YEAH!!!!) that some people take it completely wrong. I have a long history of doing things innocently and having my motives totally mistaken. You probably already have a few memories of me doing stuff like that, in your mind. But seriously, when you catch me doing ANYTHING stupid, lightly tap me on the shoulder and TELL ME. Cause I really need to know.

The problem with a situation like this is, some people take it as an atrocity, some people take it as just bad, and some people don't mind at all. I didn't know how anyone would react to it. They might not be offended. But I could name quite a few that would be. And that's the embarrassing part of it. Because, for quite a few minutes, I had those pictures posted for all the facebook world to see...Wow, I'm an idiot.

And I'm gonna be honest, I still think those are good pictures. (You're neva' gonna convince me otherwise.) HAHAHAHA! I still don't see anything really BAD in them, of course I still think the clothes look pretty. I'm a girl, that's all I see. The photography and setting was beautiful. If it weren't for the shape and design at a certain portion on the costume that looks like a modern woman's bra, there'd probably be no controversy. (Even though, technically Amanda and I were 1800s underwear models! Ahaha! What I wore was worse though...) It wasn't even that great of a corset. (If I had worn a real authentic one, my waist line would've been really small!)
So...Out of respect...I privatized them on facebook for only a handful of friends that I know will understand and not be offended. ;-)

And just now I overheard my mom talking to Amanda about it...*Listens* Well, she was basically saying what she said earlier, but pointing out that what I was wearing was worse because of what it implied...Whatever that means. LOL! "Corsets are considered lingerie, and lingerie has certain connotations with it. It makes people think about taking your clothes off." Oh dear. How could simple clothes be almost as bad as having nothing on!? But, ugh! That's what people wore back then, ya know!? Throwing on a bathrobe would have looked STUPID. Oh well. I guess there's just no point in trying to be that historically accurate with things, especially with lingerie. < Wow, that sounds strange.

Anyway, so now I'm like...really embarrassed for some reason. It was just a lapse in my thinking. But, I will say, Amanda suggested it. She thought it would look authentic! And well, it did. A little bit.
Actually, what comes to mind is the photograph of Miley Cyrus wrapped up in a sheet with nothing on and people taking that badly. (I guess if you're famous it's way worse though!) It obviously didn't strike her as bad, until everybody made a big deal out of it. And I remember thinking that was such a STUPID mistake that anyone could have avoided...well...
Anyway, I need to be careful and just think about what I'm doing. Seriously, that was stupid. And nobody really understands the point of it. So I was just asking for a little bit of controversy. Well, I guess the only way for me to ever get any wiser is to make the stupidest most embarrassing mistakes. I learn from something if it humiliates me. At least my conscience is working!

But I have compromised...(Yeah, even though it makes my face look hideous!)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2010-04-08T12:08:00.030-05:00

I all the sudden had this urge to write on the topic of respect. I don't even know why I'm writing this, or who I am writing it to. There are so many people that just don't have respect, and it is so important. If you are a wise person of the Lord, your character and behavior is the first thing that will be apparent in your life in other peoples' eyes. And this sounds strange, but the way to truly know how a person is deep inside their heart, is to see the way they treat their parents and siblings. Are they respectful and kind and loving? How do they show their love? And if they have no love in regards to their own parents, how can they love? Jesus says in 1 John 4:20 - "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.". How can I believe you are a Christian if you display disrespect and hate towards someone like your siblings or parents? The 5th commandment is to honor your mother and father. It's not an option, it's a commandment. You don't just wait for their birthday, or Mother's Day and Father's Day to roll around each year. This is a 24/7 thing - it's a commitment to your parents. If you love God, you will keep His commandments. We are commanded to love and respect everyone, even our enemies. Flip open your Bible right now to Proverbs (seriously!) and see how long it takes you to find a verse on respecting and loving your parents. Not long. But honestly. If you're having a hard time respecting your own mother and father, that says a lot about the person you really are. Teens are notorious for being disrespectful and rebellious and stubborn. Teens are also known for showing how they feel and expressing themselves through their attitude. An attitude is a powerful thing. A good one can get you and everyone around you on the right track, and a bad one can just ruin everything. Believe me, I am the most stubborn child out of all 9 kids in my family. But I have the deepest love and admiration for my parents. I can't stand to do anything they disapprove of. I can't stand to see them upset at me. I can't stand to see them think wrong of me. I just can't stand it. And yet, I do those things anyway. But I have learned, and I try harder to not be so hard-hearted. I have to let them know that I love them. It is unbearable for me to imagine them thinking I hate them...I go on the defensive if any of my friends makes a bad comment about them. You don't even know.

The hardest part of respect is the obedience factor. Respect is obedience. Grumbling obedience, or delayed obedience, is still in a sense, disobedience. Because it is disrespect. That's a hard pill to swallow, and I'm gonna tell you, not many teens even try to swallow it. I struggle with it, but I am never going to say I fail in it. If you haven't mastered something, just say you presently struggle with. You are not, and never will be, a failure. God puts things in our way so we can conquer and get by, and learn and get better. I wrote something once that went like this: (beware, it is dramatic, and it may seem off topic, but I realize that it can be applied to anything!) If we never have a battle, we can never have a victory! If we never taste the bitterness of defeat once, we'll never treasure the sweetness of overcoming struggles with victory. Don't you see that God intended us to fight and win? But we must first experience the pain and loss of losing something. We have lost something in this fallen world, but one day we will be made whole and perfect again. We have a piece of this in Jesus, our true redemption. Cling to it, because it's all we've got at this moment.

And to you people out there still not convinced at the utter importance of respect for your parents...? Here's a story for you.
My aunt Laurel, when she was younger, used to have a lot of admirers. They all loved her cause she was pretty and in plays. My grandmother told me a story about this one young man that really loved her, but he had a real problem with respecting his own parents. Always talking terribly about them behind their backs, always ashamed of them. Just that was enough for my aunt to know he was not the kind of person she could ever marry. She told my grandmother several times that she could never marry someone like that. "Shoot me if I ever marry him!" is what she said. After her wedding (to a 10 times more awesomer man) he came up to her and said "You didn't love me enough to marry me,". No, because you displayed no love towards your own parents! It was part of your character that was a turn off! So guys and girls alike - respect is vital. It'll change and affect your life - positively or negatively, depending on which side you're on. People know who you really are by the way you treat your own parents and family. If you're a young man out there wanting to impress a lovely young lady, the way to do it, to truly capture a girl's heart, is to display your true heart through the way you respect your own mom and dad. I don't care about how you look in a muscle shirt. How the flip do you treat your mother!? Why would any girl want to marry a low-down, disrespectful little punk? The answer - NO girl would. You'll end up marrying a nightmare (talk about a rude awakening) if you find one that doesn't care how you act. So, sorry if you can't find a way to listen to your own parents and respect them and meet their needs and speak words of kindness and actions of love. Sorry, cause you just lost that girl of your dreams because of your own selfishness. And vice versa - if you're a disrespectful girl always complaining about your mom and dad, or not behaving and obeying them, you're putting off a terrible image. Trust me. You're just a stupid teen, you need your parents, and God gave you them for a reason. This is an important and priceless season in your life to treasure your parents' authority over you. Not to treat them like trash. Your parents have gone through more than you will ever know. They have dreams and aspirations, too. Just because they're not young doesn't mean they can't have new visions. They are children, too - children of God. Even if you don't give a flip about their lives (which I hope you do give a flip!), don't say it. Or if they're talking about something you honestly could care LESS about, don't say it. Because you'll regret it. Hold that thought, and delete it from your mind. You are accountable for every word that you utter from your mouth, and if you are just going to injure somebody with your thoughtless words, don't expect blessings or respect from anybody. Because you don't deserve it, if that's the case. You'll look back one day wanting to just regret the stupid things you said and did, and want so badly to do it all over again. You don't have an eternity to be their "child". Yes, technically you always will be, but it is only for a short time in your life that you are truly "theirs", in their keeping. Your mindlessness with words is inflicting pain equivalent to that of sharp knives. "Who can tame the tongue? It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison" As it says in James 3.
So yes. Even if to you they're boring and uncool to you at this moment, and are "ridiculously embarrassing", I know I love and respect anyone who speaks kindly towards and about their parents. I seriously break into a huge grin every time I see a kid or teen that truly loves their parents. Because, they're showing me (inadvertently) their true heart. And it's a beautiful thing.

Please, today, be kind to them and love them. For me?

Love & Prayers,
~Rachel Lee

P.S. ~ Got a problem? Need to talk things out, but don't know where to start? Keep a notebook journal or diary and write things out. Not so keen on keeping it on paper - start a blog, make posts, write about it. I'll read it if no one else does. ;-)

April

2010-04-08T11:11:00.003-05:00

I love April. It's beautiful, and this year's April reminds me a lot of last year's April. Things were so fresh and exciting! Yesterday, Abigail and Mary got Amanda and I to be in some little Victorian Era movie of theirs. It was really funny. *Acted out this really prim and proper, silly southerner* It was stupid though, I'm sure. *So unlike me* Anyway, last night there was a terrible storm. Now, thunderstorms around here, in the mountains....Oh wow. It's like the end of the world every single time! A simple BOOM is just reverberated and enhanced and so echoic (is that a word?) because of the foothills...So it's all amplified and extremely loud. I kind of like it though. But wow! The LIGHTNING. It is relentless...FLASH, FLASH! It's like photo shoot flashes. But even brighter. Well, as they say, April showers bring May flowers... < Okay, that was purely cheesy.

I just miss some of the things that happened last year. Something about it seemed more adventurous and fun. And now everything is fading away. *SIGH* COME BACK, COME BACK!

On a random note, here are some funny videos I wanted to share...This is me and Beth on the webcam...and then Elizabeth, who apparently knows how to make videos of herself on the laptop webcam, and then me again...And to exactly explain what's going on in them...well...that'd probably take an entire separate blog post or video of its' own!

Chasing Sunlight

2010-04-07T13:34:00.001-05:00

Yes, I shall post pictures of things! The other day on the way home from dance, I took these landscape pictures...Sorry, they aren't in order or anything. =/

You can see the camera reflection at the top, unfortunately...haha

It is so beautiful

2010-04-06T12:00:00.002-05:00

The weather outside today is simply beautiful...and inspiring. On pretty days like this, I feel so purposeful. Now...if I can only find something productive to do...

There are no such things as ghosts?

2010-04-04T20:26:00.025-05:00

*Reader discretion advised please, it might scare you. Hahahaha*

I had a strange dream the other night about our house in Marion. In my dream, our house was "haunted". And it suddenly reminded me of some strange events that happened at our house while we lived there. What? Rachel wants to write a whimsical about a ghost story? Hahahaha, well, actually, I am working on writing out a story (a true story) in a separate blog post on this subject - you can interpret it as a "ghost story" if you would like to. But I think this post should serve as an introduction to explain some things.
HAHA, oh, and if you're wondering about the above picture - that's me, walking into the kitchen in Marion. My friend Jill took it. But the picture messed up. See all that light and yellow stuff? We never could figure out how it happened, exactly, because it was taken in the morning, so the light couldn't have been shining through that window until at least late afternoon. (Oh yes, and as you can see the door to my left, it's very old-fashion looking, cause it was an old house.) And since people are always saying you can capture "ghosts" on camera, we always nick-named it "the ghost picture". If you see it up close you can imagine that a lady is standing there in a dress, from the early 20th century. And, no, I'm not really saying I believe that's a ghost, I just found it funny, cause I happened to find it on my computer as I was writing this post, and I thought it would be fitting to capture your attention, dear reader.

Now, I've never been the type of person to say that I "believe in ghosts". That is, as in human spirits haunting the world after they're dead. No, I don't believe in those "ghosts" exactly. And I have noticed that lots of Christians and believers in God don't "believe" in them either. But they don't believe that there is any other spiritual, paranormal activity that happens. I've been told by some Christians that you can't be a true Christian if you believe in that stuff. But where are their scripture references? Where does it say in the Bible that ghosts, or spirits, don't exist and aren't real? Or, they might say - "And if they ARE real, they can't hurt us." - Hmmm? See, I've always had the impression that paranormal activity is real. No one ever told me that, I just have always had that understanding. It's a confusing subject and hard to pinpoint and understand, because, it's almost out of our league of understanding. No, it is.
I actually think that skepticism and the unbelief in a type of spiritual realm that we can't see, is dangerous. Yes, dangerous. I have watched shows and documentaries on tv, and happened to read a few books that would talk about the unexplained, and I seem to have a theory. Most of the time, a house becomes "haunted" after a crazy, weird, or notorious person lives in a place for a long time. Someone who evidently isn't considered "good", by all means. (Some are the kinds of people that get mixed up in Satan worshipping and ouija boards.) Or, they're the type of people that, after they're dead, make people curious and want to "speak to them". Why does the Bible forbid conjuring up the dead, and witchcraft and sorcery? Because, it is very real. When you get involved in that stuff, you're just asking for demon possession and all sorts of evil. And, from the things I've heard about, they usually DO end in demon possession or "haunted" by a spirit of fear. So I firmly believe that when you experience weird, creepy things, or have seen a "ghost", it's just the devil trying to get you interested in the spiritual realm, so that you ultimately end up disobeying God by getting into witchcraft, etc. I believe that demons can take the form of a "ghost". It might even appear to be someone that once lived. And, so naturally, who wouldn't be interested in finding out what happened to this dead person? And so, us living humans try to mingle passed the boundaries God has set for us. There are certain doors that you are forbidden by God to open. Why? Because we as humans can't handle it. We are not to try to contact the dead either. It is just a mysterious thing that God has forbidden us to do.
Satan is not stupid. He is cunning, deceptive, and can parade around as an angel of light. And demons and fallen angels are not these red little creatures with horns on their heads like cartoons depict them. On the contrary, they're scarier - because, like Satan, they can appear innocent and harmless angels of light in an unsuspecting human's eyes. When I hear of people telling of their ghost story experiences, it's always like that. Watch any show, or read any part in a book, and the story and patterns are very similar. And every time, I am left with the impression it is really a darker force, not this spirit of a human being with unfinished business. (Ha, like humans really have "unfinished business", anyway.)
If you go to some weird location, and strange phenomenons happen, it makes you curious, right? Curious, or insanely freaked out. Either one will make your spiritual and mental state get a little off-balance. This is when Satan can play with your mind. There are darker forces out there, but we never think about it.
In the Bible, after Jesus rose from the dead, the disciples all thought he was a ghost.

"They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, 'Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.'" - Luke 24:37-39

Every time I read that, I wonder, well, why didn't Jesus just say then "you silly disciples, there are no such things as ghosts, it is me, Jesus!", at that moment instead of just point out that a ghost has no flesh and bones. Then we would know positively that there are "no such things as ghosts!". And, so they were afraid of ghosts back then too!? And there is also a story in 2 Samuel, I believe, of the Witch of Endor bringing the spirit of Samuel before Saul. So...Yes, the "paranormal" is very real, in my opinion.

But the traditional Christian's unbelief in the paranormal which we can't see, has gotten us into trouble. It makes a person complacent, let their guard down, and not take demons and spiritual warfare seriously. The more and more people that say there are "no such things as ghosts", are giving Satan and his minions a stronghold over them. Have you ever heard that "the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he doesn't exist"? Making others believe it is just a fantasy, or that you're a crazy person if you really think you've had a weird, unexplained experience, is part of a really dirty trick of the devil's. My theory is that ghosts, even "UFOs" are all glimpses into the spiritual world. (i.e., demonic powers.) Spotting a UFO makes a person think, "well, maybe there are other planets somewhere that evolved, and there's no God of the Bible,"- a very good tactic that I'm sure the devil loves to use. And ghosts too. "Maybe there is no heaven or hell, maybe people die and their spirits just wander aimlessly, cause the Bible insists you go to heaven or hell after you die", etc., etc., So, do you see how this can become a serious, frightening thing? Because the unexplained causes a person to double think everything they believe in, it is a weapon used against us. It is one of the most complex, tactful, dangerous dark powers of our adversary, the devil that we have ever faced. As it says in Ephesians 6:12,

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

We're in a constant battle fighting against something we cannot see. Do you understand? So yes, there is a reason to be aware of certain evils. I am, as a Christian, very sensitive to dark forces. Some might call this the spiritual gift of "discernment of spirits". (I encourage you to look up and read more about spiritual gifts - every true Christian has one!) And because of that, I have always been interested in paranormal stuff. Not like "Oh, I wanna go play on a ouija board, mess with astrology and tarot cards, and speak to the dead!", no way! However, I am very interested in the spiritual battle and role we play to fight against these dark powers. There are lots of things the Bible hints and doesn't elaborate on very much. I think part of the reason why God has it laid out that way is because He's made us smart enough to find and search things out for ourselves as our role as pieces on God's chessboard, so to speak. Things will be revealed to those who seek. There is a reason why God is vague on a lot of subjects in the Bible (even with spiritual gifts, it seems confusing sometimes to figure out) - it is because it is our obligation to find out who we are - our true identity in Christ and in the ongoing battle against the powers of darkness. We are entitled to find out about ourselves, the Bible is our guide book, but we must solve the puzzles and riddles and come to the conclusions on our own. It is part of the free-will we have embedded deep in our hearts that has been placed there by our Creator since the beginning.

I'm not trying to scare you people out there, rather, encourage you. If you are a Christian, you'll always be under attack. Get your armor on. You are a chosen spiritual warrior by God, and you have a special power and gift to contribute to His Kingdom. Get your armor on, and find your weapon. Our spiritual gifts are our weapons. And like weapons, there are different kinds that suit different people (think of all the different kinds of weapons there are - bow and arrow, sword, shield, daggar, spear, nunchucks, maces, grenade bombs, guns, hey, even your own fists!) and so it is with spiritual gifts. Some seem really extreme in comparison to others (such as prophesy, and speaking in tongues) and weapons are like that too. (A bomb seems to be more effective than a simple sword, but it doesn't mean it's necessarily better and cooler and take away the sword's purpose and awesomeness.) Haha, okay, I'm just rambling on. What was I talkin' about? Oh yes...

What is your spiritual weapon?

He is Risen

2010-04-04T16:55:00.002-05:00

Hallelujah! He is Risen!

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. That whoesoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."

- John 3:16

I couldn't just not post this. =)

Hope

2010-04-03T17:35:00.007-05:00

Recently, I've been really run down by a lot of things. 1, I'm not doing particularly well school-wise, so that's a bummer. I'm a perennial failure (if that makes any sense). 2, Nothing new has happened in my daily life in a long time. No excitement, or inspiration...I'm getting tired of it. The same routine every day. Nothing new. Absolutely nothing. I miss all my true, real, genuine friends dearly. But there's nothing I can do about it. 3, I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life. But what can I do? I'm in a rut. Occasionally I get the impression that God is trying to get me to feel the way He has been feeling about us as Christians lately. The feeling of abandonment from those you love. He loves us, but I'm seeing a lot of people abandon their faith and love in God. Of course, it's been awhile since I've really heard from God. So I don't know for sure.
There's no one to really talk things out to and get an answer from. Of course I pray and all, but...I'm getting no response. *Wavers and falls* I'm sorry, I'm just at a real low-point right now. Why doesn't God speak to me anymore? It's annoying. Maybe I have issues in my heart, but who is going to point it out to me? I haven't heard from God in a long time, and it's bothering me, to the point of tears. I'm asking incessantly, no response. Is asking for You to really speak and just vindicate me from these feelings, wrong? Please, God, what more can I do?

Waiting...hoping...silence. Silence is not golden.

The Great Escape

2010-04-03T11:19:00.012-05:00

If you know me as well as I do, you'll know that I'm prone to getting into awkward situations. The following story is a good example of one just that, except in retrospect and told from the perspective of me at 9 years old - so expect it to be a little bit dramatic...
[I might add that it's kinda long and probably boring, sorry...haha]

A strange memory of one summer, back when my family lived in Marion, AL, recently came to mind. It was 2002, and I was 9 years old. Next door to us lived a girl named Gabby, and we played a lot at each other's houses. It was one of those periods where I came over a lot more to her house than usual, and sometimes my siblings came along with me. One day, while I was over at her house, there happened to be some teen boy over. His name was Ben Tucker, he was around 13 or 14 years old, and he had tagged along with his friend or (could have even been a brother) that came over to see Matt (Gabby's bro). Over the course of the day, we mainly hung out on Gabby's play set, drank water and lemonade and just had normal kid fun. We had already played our favorite "Scooby-Doo Mystery Game". (Which was our favorite to play at the time.) Then, one of us suggested we play a "war game". (I think it was Ben.) My siblings and I were pros at "war games", having played them with kids everywhere on military posts. (You can imagine why it was popular.) Though we didn't live on a Military Post in Marion, AL, we lived right down the street from the Marion Military Institute where my dad was LTC and Professor of Military Science. So most of the kids nearby, though not all were military brats, usually had a sibling or cousin or friend with a connection to MMI.

We split up - Gabby and Ben were on my team, against my siblings - Amanda, Joseph, and Abby. We each came up with our personal code names and positions. Gabby dubbed herself Sgt. Crystal, I was Captain Lee, and Ben was the "General" of our "army". Our base was located originally at Gabby's playset. Getting ready for our "battle", I was going to climb down and join Sgt. Crystal in all the action, but the General stopped me. "No, you stay up here with me and give orders." He said. So, I sat up there, the hot summer day slowly getting to me. It wasn't long before I was all thirsty and my face was red. I was wearing one of my favorite sundresses, a periwinkle blue one, with little flowers on it, and I was probably getting it all dirty. My hair was up in cute pigtails, as that was my current favorite hairstyle. I was shouting out orders to Gabby (I mean, Sgt. Crystal) from the playset. "I like you." General Ben said. I nodded my head in all coolness, taking it as a compliment. Yeah, I agreed, I had a lotta' spunk in war games. A few minutes later, the General announced to Sgt. Crystal that he and Captain Lee were going to go into the "real" base that the other team wouldn't find, to talk out some plans, while she was sent out to spy, until we gave her the signal to come back. I was jealous, I wanted to spy! But I didn't argue, I just followed him along to this other base to hideout and plot. "Come on." He said, and I followed him to the old cottage building on Gabby's property. In civil war days, they had been the slaves quarters (according to Gabby then, I don't know if that was true) and then later on a smoke house, so it was set apart a little ways from the main house. Gabby's mom was at that time planning on refurnishing it into a B&B, but during then, it was a big junk house. It was terribly hot and hard to breathe inside that building, and it was just an all-around very uncomfortable place to be. Plus, there was so much junk in there, old furniture, boxes and broken glass - there wasn't much room to do anything. "So, what are the plans?" I said on entering. I looked at Ben, and he made a strange face at me. I was...confused? He walked over to the couch and sat down. "Let Gabby do that. Come over here and sit down." He said. Huh? I wasn't sure where this was going. I instantly sensed something weird was up. My stomach was starting to get tied in a knot. I sat down on the very edge of the dirty old couch next to the "General" uncomfortably. "You've got a lot of spunk, Captain, I like that." He said. I made a face. "Thank you....?" My voice was getting high and squeaky. It was really hot, and I wanted to go back outside. I jumped up suddenly and started to walk away. "Where are you going!?" He asked, grabbing the hemline of my blue sundress and pulling me back to the couch, as I kept on resisting. He pulled me down to the couch, reclining, and wanted me to do the same, beside him. My mouth dropped open just a bit, and I felt trapped. I remembered the Bible story of when Potifar's wife tugged at Joseph's cape, and he threw it off of himself and escaped. If only I could do that now. "I need to go outside to get some fresh air!" I said hurriedly in an awkward manner. He looked at the window to the right of us. "Open the window." He said, in a blase fashion. I jumped up and walked over to the window, weak in the knees. I opened it, and smiled back bleakly at the "General", and then took a breather. I rested my fingers on the splintery old window sill. I looked out and I saw Gabby outside. I wanted to get out of the building so badly. I saw my brother and sisters across the meadow in our yard, playing the war game. So this was his dirty plan! Had he gone totally bonkers!? Suddenly all the glances and looks and stupid things he'd been saying to me throughout the day added up to that moment. And it was so ridiculously absurd, I didn't believe it.

I knew this was a bad situation. The room was all nasty and muggy and full of junk - old tables, toys, mattresses, and other random odd objects. It was disgusting, and hard to breathe. I was all the sudden afraid of this Ben kid. I was only 9, and he was 4 or 5 years older than me and was really intimidating all the sudden. I was at his mercy, and what if he did something BAD? I said a prayer to get out of there. "What are you thinking?" He said abruptly. I looked at him as if he was the devil himself. "Uhh, I'm thinking up a battle plan." I was. I was thinking and praying of a way to get out of the building. It didn't feel right. Perhaps I could take a run for it. "Come and sit over here with me." He said, reclining on the sofa. I looked on in horror. I didn't know what kind of game he was trying to play, but it wasn't funny. "You're pretty." He said. My face, which was already beet red, just got redder. I wanted to die. I looked at it in an old mirror that was propped up against the wall. I didn't see a pretty face, I saw a little freaked out girl. I did not like this kid at all, and I was just a little girl, and he was saying this stuff to me!? I could have killed him. If I had a weapon. I looked around the room, there were lots of weapons. I eyed a bowl of fake fruit, I fingered them, debating whether or not to take my aim and flee to freedom. He looked at me, amused. His smile seemed sinister. I wondered if he had a demon in him. I backed into some old furniture. I was ready to go into warrior woman mode. I knew I had it in me, my father was an LTC. in the ARMY! I could really be CAPTAIN LEE if I wanted to be. I contemplated everything I'd ever learned, even doing a tour jete (a ballet move) if he came at me, too.
I could hear the MMI cadets across the way playing that same marching tune on the drums. It filled the air everywhere. Sounded like someone was about to be executed. It sounded appropriate for my situation...If I could borrow one of their guns, it'd be awesome right now. *I imagined how I could scare this little punk off* Oh, if only someone would come! Joseph maybe, my dad, Gabby's brother Matt! For an instant, I even was praying to God my future husband would miraculously appear with a sharp killing object of some sort, and save the day! (I was an odd child, my future husband even came to mind in times like that...didn't occur to me that whoever he may be was most likely a little boy whose presence would not amount to much in a situation such as that!)
But see, Marion, AL was a weird town. It wasn't very safe. Girls were always getting attacked by strange guys, and sometimes the cadets on campus would have to come save them. But back in my present predicament...I had to think fast, I didn't like the way things were panning out.   With quick thinking, I ran to the window and gave Gabby the signal to come back. "No, we don't need her!" Ben said, annoyed. I did, I needed help! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. The scream wouldn't come. I heard Gabby's voice all the sudden, she was already on her way back, she would save me. I looked at Ben, I looked at the door, and I ran for it. I got to the door, and he was close behind. Gabby was waiting for us. "GABBY! GABBY!" I said. "It's Sgt. Crystal, Captain Lee. What is it that the General needs?" UGH, this stupid game was ruining everything. Gabby was still in war-game mode and would not listen. "You can go back to your post Sgt. Crystal, Captain Lee must stay with me." Ben said. I wanted to punch his lights out! "No, I'm coming with you Gabby!" I said anxiously. "It's SGT. CRYSTAL!" She said. "No, Captain Lee, you must stay and entertain the General." My heart sank low...real low. "Entertaining" the General didn't exactly sound right either. I didn't want to play this stupid war game anymore, I wanted to go home. I wanted to scream and call Joe to come and get this stupid guy to leave me alone. I felt like I was being harassed. And I was an innocent little 9 year old! And while this situation was mildly comical - it seemed pretty obvious that this Ben kid was just a loser at school that could never get a girlfriend, and thought I was nice and cute and all - the situation was a horror to me. What would my father say!? I thought. No, what would he DO? This kid would be history if my dad was there. (Yes, my dad has standards, you see...HIGH standards. "No dating until after you're married!" is his motto. And this kid was...not even a consideration.)
He closed the door, and the fresh breezy summer air became stale, sweaty and unbearable. I was again sitting next to the vile creature, and this time he put his arm around my shoulders. I instantly shrugged it off. It was quiet for some time, and I could just hear him breathing. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" he said. This was getting ridiculous. I was NINE YEARS OLD. There was nothing pretty or appealing about me in any way, and there was certainly nothing charming or admirable about this dude. I didn't want a boyfriend, would never want a boyfriend, ever! It was revolting, and it churned my stomach, for some reason. I wanted to change the subject. I casually mentioned that my dad was a LTC. in the United States Army, don't mess with me, Mon Ami. But he didn't seem to get it. "No, I don't have a boyfriend, I would have to ask my dad." I finally said sighing in response to his question. "Well, you should." He said. UGH. I knocked his arms off again. This was getting weird. I wanted someone to save me. I was mad at Gabby for ignoring me and leaving me with this dunce head. I was mad at everybody! I kept sending silent secret messages to God, begging Him to get me out of this situation. I wanted someone to come through that door and save me from this stupid moment. Somebody, anybody! I hoped that maybe Matt Johnson, or Joe, or my dad, or anybody would just come through the door. I remembered watching Amanda getting chased by an "admirer" in West Point when she was 9 years old, but that was by some other kid around her age, and it didn't seem as scary. (Even though, I must say, it was a little weird.) I actually thought it would be kind of cool to get attention from a boy. But now that I had it, I didn't want it. This was a TEEN-ager, and that seemed really OLD to me. "Stop doing that!" I said, knocking his arms off again. "Why should I?" he said. He was looking at my blonde pigtails, and looked like he was about to tussel them with his fingers. Oh, no. Don't. You. Dare. Mess. With. My. Hair. That really bothered me. He was this big teen, and I was a little kid. He could snap my arms off if he wanted to. I tried not to panic. I jumped up and ran to the window to get some more fresh air. I didn't like this situation, I hated everything about it. In an old, hot building full of junk, on a couch with some teen guy I'd never known or seen before in my life until that very day. And he was professing his "love" to me, so to speak. FREAKY. Any 9 year old girl will tell you this is a nightmare. I so badly wished I could fly or teleport out of that place. My 9 year old imagination made it seem almost possible.
I tried to think of a clever way out of it. I could say I was thirsty? No, then he'd offer to get me the drink. What if he tied me to a chair and left me there!? I felt captive. I tried to think of something clever to say..."I am not your prisoner, General." I said, trying to act like I was playing the game and not afraid. "I don't want to play that game anymore." He said. My heart raced. I could hear it thumping in my chest. I jumped up. Could I get to the door in time, and open it? Could I grab an item and skew him with it in time if he didn't let me go? Could I scream? I couldn't, I couldn't get anything out of my voice box, I remember. "Sit back down." He commanded me. I swallowed. He reached for my arm. "NO!" I said. He was getting annoyed by my resistance, and I knew it wasn't good to get him all mad, he might punch me or something. The nerve! He wasn't afraid of doing ANYTHING, was he? Now I was gettin' desperate. I had to do it...I had to just take a run for it. I would never forgive myself if I just sat there and did nothing. What if he kissed me or something awful!? That would be terrible, a kiss from THIS guy? DISGUSTING! I was gonna be sick if that happened. I looked at his face. I could tell what he was thinking. Uhhhh! He was gonna make a move on me! Oh no, and I was not about to let that guy steal a kiss. It was not happenin'! I would never recover from THAT memory, it would be so gross! I was praying for strength to get out of there. To me this was like being kidnapped and trying to escape. No, as far as I was concerned at that moment, I was kidnapped. I could hear my siblings coming out to attack, and Gabby calling. This was an opportunity. Suddenly, I said - "I can't stand it, I'm getting out of here!!!!" I got up and ran out the door in a hurry, and didn't stop to look behind me. I kept running, running, out into the field. Gabby was right there. "What are you doing, get back in there with the General!" She said. "NO! I won't! It's too hot in there, I'm staying outside with you!" Ben was following close behind. I cringed. "HEY!" He shouted. I wasn't coming back. "You left!" DUH, I left, dope! Any girl with a brain would leave! I thought. I was never, ever going to be in that situation again, and I prayed that as long as I'd live I'd never have to be in any situation like it, EVER. I soon forgot about it though, and I didn't really tell anyone. I mentioned it to Amanda, but I didn't tell anyone else.
A few years later though, Gabby related to me a story of something that happened to her at school. "One day at school, I was cleaning off my desk, and getting my books, and I was the only one there, besides this other guy. He kept looking at me, and followed me around, and I wasn't paying much attention. I gathered my stuff up, and went into the hall. He was there, lurking, and he jumped out and kissed me...right on the smackers!" She said appalled. I gasped. "It was Ben Tucker, and then I told him 'Hey, my brother is in the Marines!'. He hasn't messed with me since."- WELL! I knew instantly who Ben Tucker was, and I laughed at his name. I then related the story of my great escape, in which Gabby left me for the kill (or should I say, kiss?). "WHAT!? You never told me that! I was so stupid, you should have just screamed, I would've smacked him with a stick! I always thought Ben Tucker was a creeper, but now I'm convinced." She said, shuddering. It seems like it would be so easy to scream and run away from something like that. But with that situation, I learned, it is not. You think, you doubt, you get nervous and embarrassed, you want to make a move, but you're trying to make the best move, and can't.
I would not be surprised if every girl in all of Perry County was stalked by this Ben Tucker. It was no mystery as to why he had no girl - he didn't respect them in the right way. They all seemed to have a similar weird story relating to him. But Gabby and all my friends agreed that mine was the freakiest. Alone, in a creepy building on a sofa with Ben Tucker!? NIGHTMARES! At least I wasn't traumatized by it, everyone joked. But really now, I am aware that there are several cases far worse than that, that other girls experience every day. It makes "my great escape" sound like cheese. It was cheese, but come on, when you're 9 years old, it seems like it's your life. You're not mature enough to understand what's going on, especially with weird guys trying to experience things and you're the "victim". You never can tell what their true motives are - innocent or sinister. This kid was acting completely different in that building than the way he acted outside in the summer sun. Who knows what was going on in his mind, or what kind of bad influences he had. And while I'm sure he wasn't capable of anything terribly bad, and was just some loser of a kid, I'm tellin' you, no matter what age you are, if you're a girl in a situation like that...RUN LIKE THE WIND! Find a way to get out of it, because there should be a way. It might not be easy, but just find a way, don't sit around. Even if it doesn't turn out to be anything bad, and you're afraid of embarrassing yourself... Don't stop and wait to find out what happens. Because you'll probably discover that you never wanted to know in the first place.

^ So, yeah, that was a weird story, wasn't it? HAHA I tried to tell it in a short, condensed style, and put all the pieces together, it's been a long time since I thought about it. Still, words can never describe the true weirdness and way it felt to me then!
~Rachel

My odd obession with being a Medieval Ladye

2010-04-02T10:32:00.003-05:00

I confess, I love *insert hearts here* medieval history. A lot. I love history in general, but I have a special attachment to medieval days. I know, I probably have a very romanticized idea of how things were, (life was hard, and people probably just STUNK badly back then because they had no deoderant) but something about medieval days fascinates me. The way people lived then, and the way the countrysides must've all looked. *...Imagines...* I would love to visit old English castles in Great Britain and Scotland and Ireland. *MY DREAM* I also have an odd love of ancient Rome and Greece and such. So, I am determined to go there someday. I also have a fascination with Israel, especially because of the Biblical history. America is just so new and boring, it doesn't capture the regal coolness of the other historical eras. Oh, and I also like Renassaince stuff. Okay, I love history. I guess I can't say I'm just obsessed with one particular time period if I love it all. But right now, I'm really into medieval stuff. ;-D

Can it be that I am too Young at Heart?

2010-04-01T11:50:00.003-05:00

I think anyone who has met me will desribe me as "young at heart". But I've come to the conclusion that some people are confused, and label it as "immaturity". Even guys have taken jabs at me saying, "Well, Rachel, when are you going to grow up?". It's disappointing. And I don't like the fact that they make it sound as if they are "waiting" for me to grow up. Ugh. So when girls ask me "Rachel, don't guys like you?" I have to respond, "Well, quite honestly, they think I'm immature."...And that sounds like I have issues. But perhaps I do. I don't know.
It is funny, as it seems like most girls always ask me for advice on things, or pour their heart out on stories about them and their relationships, and I don't know anything about it. I pray that God can reveal something to me to say to them, but I always get concerned that they're going to stop confiding in me because I have little experience. It goes like this, "So you've never fallen in love, had a boyfriend, crush? Okay, like, what about an 'admirer'!? You've never kissed, never anything? Gosh, Rachel!". Never. I'm not ashamed, but sometimes I feel like I'm making all these other people feel that way. It's like they're thinking "Ah, I can't be in this little Christian homeschooled girls' presence, or talk to her about my life." but they do it anyway. And it's probably because I'm different, and I'm not a threat. They can tell me secrets about what goes on in high school, who they hate, who they like - because I'm never going to leak anything out to their school friends. They can tell me about their boyfriends, and then the guy they really want, they can tell me about what goes on in their drunk parties...Frankly, it's disgusting. But I don't condemn them for it. And most of the time, they regret what they've done. But sometimes, they don't, and then I'm stuck. What do I say?!? And they act as if I would do the same in their situations, because it's too tempting to resist.
I even know other homeschooled girls that go out and do the same sort of things. Not usually to the degree as the public high schoolers, but not that far off.
I love how they think it's weird that I'm not constantly drooling over guys or a celebrity. *LAUGHS* Yeah, I can tell a good looking guy apart from a not-so-good-looking one, but passed that, I show no emotional attachment. AT ALL. And I am not always posting facebook statuses about finding "the ONE". Or about love. Or about books and movies about love. I'm not that emotional. I can cry at a movie, or when reading a book, but it's not like the average girl. And yeah, I guess it's pretty scary to come across a girl with that much control. When I tell them that the guy I'm going to marry is going to be my best friend, they understand that, but they think my standards are too high. (In other words, they're thinking that finding a guy just like myself is impossible. Okay, but if you've read THIS, I can understand why.) On a sad note, I know too many girls that give themselves away too early. It is scary to me how I know of so many girls that get pregnant and then rush off to get married, and they're only a few years older than me. I know of a girl that ran off and got married at 18, and is now divorced, after barely a year of marriage. She was so insistant that she was in love, and it was pretty apparent that it wouldn't last. It's sad, but it just goes to show how some people disregard the significance of getting married to someone and what it stands for. The true purpose behind it is so much more than what it's become today. You don't get married to "get out of your parents' house, or just cause this guy says 'I love you' more than once and sounds sincere.". No. It takes time to deepen a bond that will really last. I'm hearing more and more people say, "true love like that just doesn't exist.". But it does. God put it here for a purpose, and everyone wants to someday be "in love". But so many people are embracing an immature love with no backbone to it. It's just plain SAPPY. There is nothing pure and loving about it. It's because a lot of people are not seeking God ultimately with their marriage, they're just looking for love in all the wrong places. And it's very, very sad.

And, yeah, I know this is rambling. I started out talking about my stupid self, and look what happened? *Haha, I just had to laugh* But anyway, yes, I think I might be too young at heart, to a fault. I am so stupid sometimes, it's embarrassing. And I am so not the perfect girl. I don't care what all my friends say, I really am not as good and pure as I should be. *Is trying* I just honestly am not, and I do think I put off the wrong image sometimes. I've done a lot of things...And it's terrible. I'm just a headstrong, stubborn, mischeivous girl and I've done a lot of bad things in my life. I have hurt several people in my life. You don't even know. But I am so glad I have a God who forgives. Ah, what would I do without that? *TEARS*

Okay, people. I'm sorry.

Love,
~RACHEL

Spring is (REALLY) Here!

2010-03-31T20:38:00.003-05:00

Ahh...the majority of today I think I have spent outside. It was AMAZING. Winter this year had been so long and cold, I am so thankful for spring!!! I have been just happy picking clover blossoms and blowing dandelions, it's ridiculous. *Acts like a madman* Everything looks so pretty, and it's so warm outside. I took a long bike ride today...it felt so good. Thank you LORD for SPRING...Ahh, it feels so good to me, you don't know how good.

I have been trying to "help" Amanda clear some things off of her computer. *FAILS* I keep finding the cutest videos! Some are really old. *Is amazed by them*

I have found some funny videos on Amanda's laptop computer too, this one made me laugh...(It was us making a medieval costume for a friend.)

I can't find my emerald ring

2010-03-30T10:36:00.000-05:00

Shhh...!! Don't tell anyone!  But I can't find it, and I miss it.  I got it for my 11th birthday from my grandparents...And now I can't find it anymore.  And it was a semi-fat emerald gemstone.  Hmmm...what to do.  And my grandmother was thinking of getting mine re-sized.  Oh no.  She got Amanda's garnet one re-sized recently, and Abigail just got an aquamarine ring for her birthday.  It'll look odd if I don't have mine. :( 

Speaking of rings, I'm thinking for my bday, it would be nice to have a simple ring to wear.  It doesn't have to even have a gemstone.  I saw this site with a pretty simple looking ring in it's banner.  It had some weird title like brilliantearth.com, but I'm gonna check it out anyway.  I don't know, I just started noticing a lot of my friends had cute, simple little rings, and I don't. *CRIES* No, actually *DOESN'T*. But you know, it is a bit sad. Haha

I wish I had a million

2010-03-29T11:14:00.007-05:00

I wish I had a million, or a way to make a million. I don't really want to move away. Maybe I could write a famous song and send it to Disney for Hannah Montana to sing...Or, I could become a famous journalist. Or author, and write a bestselling book. Hey, I could always go out for acting. Or be a youtuber and be invited to all those awards shows like iJustine is. And somehow rack in big bucks! [EDIT: HAHAHA! Okay, I laughed at this part this morning!] If I had some sort of real talent, I could make a million off of it, and save the day. I guess things can't all be about money, but it's hard to minimalize money when it's a big deal at the moment. *Just was listening to my parents talking about needing to move because of financial stuff* :( I don't want to. But when has what I wanted, mattered? I shall ask God and see what He says.......

How to make my blog more interesting?

2010-03-29T11:00:00.002-05:00

Hmm...Well? I have no comments on the last few posts. How do I make my blog more interesting?

Ode to DailyBooth

2010-03-29T10:58:00.000-05:00

Dailybooth. Today I shall post on the wonders of the thing known as...dailybooth. Well, it is a site where you take pictures of yourself and look like an utter DOOF. Last time I got on there and took a menagerie of photos, I was told I looked like MEEKAKITTY (that's a youtuber) and then once, Amanda Seyfried. Okay. My life is...Completely complete now. Yeah. *That was sarcasm*

What's in a username?

2010-03-28T11:36:00.004-05:00

Today is a day in which I shall sing a song of my old e-mail account(s)...Yes, I said e-mail account(s)....They were my paramount of writing back in the good ole' days...

As you can tell, by my own blog title, I have always been insanely obessed with having a cool username with neat, unusual words. When I was about 9 or 10, I got my first e-mail account. (Circa B.F. - .... Back in the days before facebook took over and made the e-mail system seem like an almost outdated form of communication.) For some reason, I thought it had to have some special, awesome, extravagant name. I didn't understand why grown-ups chose such unappealing names with numbers that indicated the year they were born in. "Pmallory52"? "BobbyLarry65"? Did I really want to know how old they were? NO, BORING!

So, basically I went through several e-mail accounts because OF the name. (Always on the lookout for that perfect fit!) Are you ready to hear the titles?

My first one was going to be "AlwaysJoyful@hotmail.com". (Which isn't true, anybody that really knows me can testify to the fact that I am not "ALWAYS" joyful...close, but definitely not always.) But I was disheartened when I discovered it was already taken and unavailable. (What? There couldn't possibly be another "always joyful" soul in the world!) And I thought adding a number or an underscore in an e-mail account was right up there with blasphemy, at the time. So irritated, I tried in vain to think of a good name for one. I finally settled upon..."JoyfulGlory". Whatever that means, I don't know, you will have to figure it out. Because every kid responded making a face when I told them my e-mail address, I decided that I was officially e-mbarrassed of the title, and needed a new e-mail account.

So, I moved on to..."SingingJoy". I have no idea why, I didn't even sing. I just thought the words sounded so romantically beautiful. That used to be my favorite e-mail account of all time. Around that time, I brilliantly set my brother up with an e-mail account, too. I baptized it "WonderNeat", which, didn't make sense, but made my brother happy.

I loved e-mailing, I was an expert typist at the age of 10. I wrote 15 (or more) e-mails to my friend Jillian every day. If she didn't respond for one entire day, I thought something was badly wrong, and that she had died or something. *And vice versa* And I saved every single e-mail.

All was perfect in e-mail world, I was happy with my SingingJoy. Until, one day, I messed up my age on the account system and I couldn't log into it anymore because I was supposedly "too young" to have an e-mail account. I was disgraced. I remember the very day it happened, it was the day we were to get passport pictures taken...I remember sitting in the car, grieving the death of SingingJoy, my beloved e-mail account. For days I wandered around aimlessly, without purpose, because my wonderful e-mail account, SingingJoy, had been...taken away from me. I didn't know what to do. I feared Jillian would think I was officially dead for not answering her e-mails, so I wrote from my mom's account. But, I knew in my heart I had to make another one...(An e-mail account was like...marriage to me. I felt like a widow without my singingjoy!) And this time, I was back with vengeance...SingWithGlory was born. How I told my friends with a straight face that my e-mail was "singwithglory" - I don't know, somehow it didn't strike me as comical at all. I continued e-mail correspondence through the faithful SingWithGlory for a very long time. But one day, I decided I did not like the hotmail server, and I moved on to yahoo. And Ballerina4Him took over. (By then, I had decided that numbers in e-mails were now cool.) And if I were to tell you all the goofy e-mail account usernames I have made before that and since...Well, that would take a long time, and I'm sure you won't mind me skippin' those tales.

So, what's in your username? Got any old funny ones to share? (So I don't feel like a nutcase.)

"How I Evaluate A Suitor" - To my future husband, with laughs

2010-03-27T11:20:00.022-05:00

Like all girls, I at times think of my future husband. Today, I was just looking at this old notebook of mine, and I found this long list with the title of "How I Evaluate A Suitor" - what I think were supposed to be "ideals", but were somehow accidentally written out as requirements, for my future husband. I find it rather ironic, since my darling sister Amanda wrote a very controversial blog post with a very similar title over a year ago. ;-) This just goes to show, I am the lighthearted, silly sister in comparison to Amanda, who is very smart and serious (and funny in her own way of course, but you know).

I remember keeping this list and adding more and more to it every once in awhile, whenever I was bored and thought of an important thing to list. I had never been good at writing "Letters to my Future Husband", as I remember, long ago, my friend Jillian used to say she wrote them. (HAHA, I don't know, she might not have them now, either.) When I tried to write one, I could never think of anything to say, so most of them ended up in the waste basket. So that is why, I had more fun making a list of the desirable qualities I wanted my future husband to have.

I highly doubt I know a guy, or will ever know one, that could fit all of them. Some of them were really unrealistic and goofy, and made me laugh, and now I wonder why I cared enough to write them down. (Knowing me, I probably wasn't being serious - hahahaha!)

Anyway, I will write them all down, for you to enjoy as well. I dare you to show this to any guy - I highly doubt he would fit any of my "requirements".

And yeah, you will have 2 different Rachels talking to you in the following list..."Rachel Past" and "Rachel Present" (through the "EDIT:").

THE 50 COMMANDMENTS (hahahaha!)

1. Must be 3 years older than me, so he'll be a wiser person than me, and someone that has their niche (and a job and money) So, he must either be a military man, a football player, a musician (or actor, or both), a lawyer, missionary/ministry man, or a rich doctor! - Rachel 2, EDIT: Okay, I don't really give a whit how old he is anymore, he could be younger than me for all I care. And his occupation!? I was a dreamgirl!? I guess I wanted to make sure I didn't marry a trashman or a plumber.

2. Needs to have really nice eyes. EDIT: This was after I had this vision a long time ago of a little girl looking up at me with intriguing eyes (that didn't look like mine), and I heard a voice say "This is your child". I know, it sounds really CHEEZY, but ever since then, I've been on the look out for a guy with eyes that catch my fancy.

3. Needs to have darker hair, slightly grown out, but not too long, and not sheep-shorn short. EDIT: AHAHAHA, that one made me laugh. You're funny, Rachel.

4. Must love traveling. EDIT: Huh? Yeah, I agree, but why is that #4!? Hm, wanderlust!

5. Must love me. EDIT: YOU BET...TER!

6. Must love God more than traveling and me. EDIT: HA, I was sorta' clever with that one!

7. Must like music.

8. Preferably, my music. EDIT: Now that's asking a lot!

9. Needs to be sporty and athletic. EDIT: HAHAHAHAHA

10. Needs to be taller than me.

11. No, sorry, MUST be taller than me. EDIT: Yep, I still stand by this one!

12. Must be funny and have a good sense of humor.

13. Must like coffee. EDIT: Okay, well, at least drink coffee with me, from time to time.

14. Must like my dad and watch sports with him. EDIT: Okay, that was...random.

15. Must like mom and tell her that her cooking is good - and MEAN it. EDIT: It almost sounds like I'm implying my mom isn't a good cook, but she is!

16. Oh yes, must like books and be good at math, because I'm terrible at math. EDIT: Ah, yes, this one is important, fellas!

17. Must be healthy and not a weakling. EDIT: ????????? I don't really understand what that was about. I don't care, as long as I can take care of him when he is weak, hahaha.

18. Must be able to kick my bott at chess, but lose to me at badminton. EDIT: Yeah, I think this one can still stand as a "must".

19. Must look good in sunglasses. EDIT: Okay? Why does that matter? I have so many different Rachels in me.

20. Must be able to whistle. EDIT: Nah, it's okay, if you can't, I'll teach ya'!

21. CANNOT BE A PICKY EATER! EDIT: AHAHA, I'd have some trouble in the kitchen.

22. Must be smart. EDIT: Oh, now I say it!

23. But dumb enough to think I'm prettier than all my sisters.

24. Must be a good talker.

25. Considerate, but slightly selfish so he has a flaw (a bad flaw). EDIT: What? I was actually allowing my guy to have a FLAW!? I'm awesome.

26. Must be honest, but not embarrassingly frank with everyone.

27. Must be able to stomach badly burnt toast, cold coffee, and scrambled fried eggs. EDIT: Okay, wow, I wasn't giving myself any credit for being a decent cook!

28. Doesn't have to be the best singer, but able to sing decently when he has to in public. EDIT: WOW, now THAT is asking a LOT.

29. Must like Alabama football and take me to the Iron Bowl (and National Championship game!) every 3-5 years. EDIT: AHAHAHA, I was a little girl that loved football, yep! Of course, I don't see how liking to watch sports is really an important or vital personality trait in a husband!?

30. Must be kind to my brothers and sisters.

31. Must like kids and be good with them. EDIT: Okay, that sounds so cliche.

32. Must not be overweight! EDIT: Now I start to drop the bombs!

33. Needs to be about 180-210 pounds (all in muscle) EDIT: I did not have a concept of weight at all. I did not know how BULKY 180 pounds is on a guy. 150 would do!

34. Needs to have thick hair, and not have a bald spot. (Sorry Dad!) EDIT: AHAHA!!!! That is classic.

35. Cannot have a bonkers nose! EDIT: TRUE!

36. Must have good eye-sight, drop the glasses! EDIT: Pssh, I was mean, I know of a majority of people wear glasses and look cool and classy! I guess I was thinking of those nerds...you know the kind.

37. Must have a good reputation.

38. Must not be mushy and shallowly romantic.

39. Needs to be a good driver.

40. Needs to come from a larger homeschool family, or something. EDIT: I don't really care now, as long as they're a Christian, that's all that matters.

41. Must be able to look good with a beard, but most of the time be clean shaven. EDIT: I was so WEIRD!!!!

42. Needs to be sweet and buy me flowers! (On my birthday, when I'm sad, etc.!) EDIT: That's asking a lot, not many guys are like that.

43. Must NOT be addicted to fast-food! EDIT: Who really is ADDICTED to fast-food anyway!?

44. Must be a manly man and remember my birthday! (May 30th!) EDIT: So, basically I'm saying that you're not a manly man if you forget my BIRTHDAY?

45. Must never grow old!

46. ...HEHEHE, just KIDDING!

47. Must be considerate. EDIT: I think I already said that once before.

48. This is probably hinted, but he must be a Christian!

49. Needs to have a good taste in music. Different genres, a little bit of everything! You know, some Christian, like Leeland and Keith Green, to Mozart and Beethoven, to other people like Regina Spektor, and bands like the Beatles and Coldplay and stuff. EDIT: Haha, I love my random comparisons to sum up "good taste in music".

50. Needs to like to watch old movies (Like Gone with the Wind, It's a Wonderful Life) and also movies like Pride & Prejudice, funny movies, and and war/action/battle movies! EDIT: Yeah, I do have an odd obsession with war and action movies, haha, so, this "requirement" will probably be easy for any guy to have.

Okay, but you see...That was me being silly! Some of it is pretty good though!;-P

Oh, yes, by the way...I wrote a new list today, silliness set aside...and here it is. It isn't asking too much...but it is very important to me.

NUMERO UNO...

1. Love the Lord. EDIT: More than me!

And that's it.

Flippant Pursuits

2010-03-26T12:18:00.006-05:00

As the summer season looms in the near future, so does another task at hand, for me anyway. Yes, it is in accomplishing, polishing, the world-famous front flip off the diving board. Flipping, has always been to me, equivalent to flying. It is sacred, holy, it makes the one who has the ability to do so, a super-human. Images of summers long past with my siblings performing such a miraculous stunt, are planted in my mind. Yes, yes, I must do it.

Doing flips was always so cool! And even though Abby and Joe are both younger than me, I looked up to them for the mad skills. Abby is a hot chick...(Not in that context.) She's amazingly good at anything she sets her mind to. She performs and flies through the air with the greatest of ease. She looks nothing short of awesome. Joseph has always been a pro too. Even my dad could do it...Even Dr. Yates could do it! You didn't even fully know a person until they did a flip off the diving board into the pool!

I always pictured it as this perfect thing...I can still see it now...I walk stealthily to the diving board on a hot summer day...I step onto the diving board like a ballerina, gymnast, athlete...warrior. My green eyes are on fire...I come to the edge, everyone is intrigued. I push a few stray tendrils of hair to the side of my face, as a light, warm breeze blows. All eyes watching... It is a day in which I look beautiful. I jump lightly off the launching pad and then, I fly through the air with the greatest of ease. My pony-tail glints and glimmers in the sunlight, my hair is as gold as honey, I flip...For a moment, everything is slow motion, my form is perfect...When I reach the water, it burns my nose at first, but it is of little consequence, in comparison to the great glory I have just performed. I emerge to the surface victoriously. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I have just done a flip! I climb up the side rail, and water droplets drip from my lashes like sparkling jewels. The crowd wants more, and I hear voices begging me to show them how...Yes, yes, that is the dream!

Flipping...It has always been my ultimate life goal. I must learn how to flip before I can die! That's what I always thought. I have been so enthralled by the power and beauty of it for years. I remember on my friend Gabby's trampoline back when we lived in Marion. Joseph, Abigail and Mary were always performing stunts on it. I could never do it. Even Amanda could do it on the trampoline. I have always been acrobatically challenged, (part of the toll for being a taller and having long legs...But honestly, my cartwheels are hideous) and I could never find anything else to make up for it. So I set out to learn. I remember our little friend, Garrett, wanting to accomplish the great feat on the trampoline. I was glad I had someone to console in, to relate to. And then, I watched on in horror as he actually made a perfect front flip before everyone's eyes, for the first time. "NO!!!!" - Has always been my first thought, deep inside, when someone else is inducted into the flip hall of fame...and not me... a little light goes off inside me, I feel defeated. Performing a front flip stunt is the one challenge that I could never conquer.

So when it came to pool tricks, I always tried to make diving (since I am an expert at perfecting the dive) seem superior to flipping...but diving, as cool as it is, is still inferior to the awesomeness of flipping. One summer, I asked a friend named Doug (who knew virtually every pool trick in the book it seemed) to show me how when I saw his sister Kaylie performing flips in the pool, and she was only 7 years old. He taught me the way he said he learned. "Here...crouch down on the edge, and then, tip over, like this...and to keep water from getting in your nose, close your mouth, hold your breath and go 'hummmmmmmm'." He explained it so well. I tried to do it...But I couldn't do it right! I always managed to bop my head on the side, or I was afraid of doing it. I then watched the rest of my siblings and the Helton kids performing all these awesome stunts. They somehow seemed set apart, because they had the ability to perform super stunts off the diving board. I clinched my fists, and gritted my teeth. That power...I wanted it!
I remember the next summer with Jillian...We were performing tricks on the diving board. She has the ability to do virtually anything she sets her mind to, which is a secret envy of mine. "I want to do a flip!" She proclaimed. Oh no! Not...JILLIAN TOO! I hoped against hope, maybe she would flop and lose interest and not do it...But no...On her very FIRST attempt...She stepped up, her deep burgundy swimsuit and her abundant hair gloriously crowning her head in the August sunlight...It was a beautiful moment, for her...For me, it was an atrocity. She jumped up lightly, and flipped! Perfectly! Richie, her brother came out just in time to see the marvelous feat. I knew I would never hear the end of it...Jillian would force me now! She would MAKE me do it, even if I could't do it! Wait...I wasn't ready! "Come on Rachel, do it! On the count of 3...1,2,3!!!" NO!!!! My mind screeched. Don't do it Rachel dear! You can't do it, you know that! I ran to the edge...I stopped. I ran back...I ran to the edge. I stopped...I fell in. "Ugh...RACHEL!!!" Jillian sounded annoyed. I tried to console myself into believing that she was only able to accomplish such things because she had 3 extremely competitive brothers. "Wait, let me see you do it ONE MORE TIME!" I begged. She did so. I wanted to get out of it...This was it, now, no escape! Then suddenly, Richie said "Jill, you almost hit your head on the diving board!"...It was at that moment that I discovered that Richie was a true saint, a true hero. Not only had he saved Jillian from a possible death, he saved me from embarrassment. Amanda quickly pitched in on the dangers of hitting your head on a diving board. Because of this great threat to Jillian's life, and mine, we quit the tricks for the rest of the day. I was saved!!!! For awhile...A year later, I found myself in the same predicament...but without a Richie and an Amanda to save me. I was at the mercy of Jillian's competitive spirit...The mercy! She performed a flawless back flip/dive into the water. I was stunned, appalled. How the heck could she manage to just DO something on the first try? "How did it look?" Hmmm...I could lie a bit! I told her it was not perfect, sub-consciously trying to discourage her. I made it worse. She improved on each one. DANG IT!! I was in for it now. Now she wanted ME to do it. Naturally, I flipped...and flopped, all over the place. It was embarrassingly bad. My head began to hurt. Yes, finally a good excuse. I used it, I said I wanted to do laps around the pool. It worked, we did laps. But I felt defeated...Again, by the flip!

Later that summer, Kyle came over. We secretly plotted to learn all these tricks because we wanted to impress and blow away Jillian the next time she FORCED us to do stunts in front of her. We pictured it perfectly, how it would be. "DO it, Rachel! DO it, Kyle!" suddenly, Jillian became a drill sergeant in our minds. We would then do it, better than Jillian ever could, and she would be speechless, utterly speechless!! Amanda, Joseph, Abby, Mary and JDub all joined in. They all somehow learned to do it and make it effortless. We practiced all night long, until it was 2am...And by the end of the night (or beginning of the morning), Kyle was ready for the summer Olympics, and I was ready to be skewed. I tried to motivate myself. I imagined it was my only ticket to heaven. Nah, it made it worse, my form became atrocious, I couldn't do it, I flopped right into hell (if you performed it right, the pool was heaven, if not, it was hell)! It wasn't long before Kyle and I were the only ones in the pool, and the air was cool and things were getting uncomfortable. "Come on Rachel!! Do it, imagine I'm JILL!" - Now that was motivation. I did it...I performed a back dive. It wasn't from the diving board (yeah, and I was the only one doing it from the rail) but I did it. Yes, it might have been a little sketchy but... I did it! I was so proud of myself...So very proud! But now, I remember...it was the first and LAST time I ever did it. I was so scared, remembering all the times I failed miserably and got rewarded by a burning nose and stinging eyes, and a mouth full of water that I never wanted to attempt it again...But I did want to attempt it. But I didn't!

One year, I was so set on doing it, I spent hours in the pool trying to learn how. I watched youtube videos about flipping and stunts! I was saying prayers right there, on the diving board! "Please, please GOD, I wanna' FLIP!" it was almost embarrassing. Abby was my coach. I got Amanda out there too, because she and I were the only ones that really couldn't do it off the diving board. And SOMEHOW, I don't know HOW...Amanda got better at it than me, and she was still terrible at it! When she did it, she looked like a dead toad, but somehow it was cute! But when I did it, it was like a turtle flopping around without it's shell - and it was not cute. I couldn't launch off the diving board, I was afraid to take that one glorious leap into the air. "But Rachel, that's how it's done!" Abby tried to show me. "No, I feel like I'm gonna DIE if I do that!" "Remember how scared you were about diving?" "Mmhm?" "It's like that, you have to break the barrier!". I would try, and try again. I was slowly getting better at it, but it was not as I imagined. I did not feel glorious as Abby said she did when she flipped. I did not feel glorious the way I had invisioned it all those years. I just flopped over, doing it like a lazy somersault. It looked stupid. I couldn't JUMP off properly. I wanted to cry! I almost felt like Alexander the Great did when he wept, except it wasn't because I had nothing else to conquer. It was because I dedicated so many summers to learning how to flip, and I was time and time again humiliated by my efforts to learn HOW to flip. Then I asked myself..."WHY?"...What's so great about it anyway? Really now, tell me what makes anyone else so special because they can flip, hmm?

So this summer, will I learn to execute a flip stunt off the diving board? - Flipping, equal to that of flying? Flipping, that suddenly makes the most boring beings in the world somehow awesome!? Will I conquer, can I do it, after all these years!?

Frankly my dear, I don't give a flip.

Original image from: http://chriskeeneyphoto.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/flippin-goodtime.jpg

Confessions of an Insomniac

2010-03-25T21:51:00.000-05:00

^^ PFFT! *Snakey laugh* I don't know why I chose that title...Well, the truth is, I am an insomniac! Sometimes. Sometimes I'm not. But as of late, yes. Which brings me to confessing...I only slept like 5 hours last night. URGH. I hate when I can't get to sleep. It's annoying. I tell you, I'm always up around the time (precisely 3:38am) when that weird car drives down the street...Yeah, the one with the eerie, flashing red tail lights? And then the dog barks incessantly and tells me the story of his life. (Like I don't already know it.) But sometimes it is peaceful. And the wind blows through the window. Last night, it wasn't though. It was moist and sticky and hot, and blah! I was so thirsty!!

So, then I analyze, as I listen to Amanda snoring lightly..."How does a person go to sleep?" And I contemplate that for a long time. The entire process, is such a weird thing to behold. I have heard that it takes the average human being 7 or so minutes to fall asleep. Then I look at the clock and go "Ehhhheww"...cause I realize it's been, hmm, 3 hours? Yeah, well if it hadn't been for AMANDA writing that "stewpid" (-insert British accent with the STEWPID-) blog post! Maybe THAT'S why I'm not asleep! Nah, no, that didn't affect me the last time I decided to randomly become an insomniac. *GASP* Terrible thought, what if I am a VAMPIRE and I never will be able to sleep? *Funny laugh* Hahaha, Rachel, you silly, you silly girl! And then, I think, wow, isn't it great God doesn't sleep? At least I have someone to talk to! Then I get mad and ask God to just put me to sleep. No, haha, not like THAT, not like when you put a beloved pet to sleep, hahahaha. Did you just catch that? Hahahehh... Yeah, this blog post sounds a bit ADD...But that's okay.

And my mind races and I think of so many things. I think of all the dumb things that I wish I hadn't and then the smart things that I wish I had, in reflection of the day...then the entire week...then the month, which brings me to the entire year. Which gets me nowhere. And then of course, I try to pray, sometimes that gets me to sleep. But then I distract myself with another thought, and wow, it's a novel. And question, is it normal to make up a novel when just trying to get to sleep? I seriously would be a multi-billion dollar best-selling author if they were written down. No really. Last one I "thought up" was this epic tale, better than Robin Hood! I tell you the truth. Anyway. That's all I wanted to say. Yeah. No wait, I finished yoga x on P90X! *Is proud of myself and no one cares* BAHAHA! I want to see some friends right now, I wanna have FUN. But, I don't need fun, I need to work harder in school. Ugh...I don't want to think about school and all that other junk. Do I HAVE to? I feel like a total failure, and nobody cares. *Looks around the room* Well, this is the greatest post ever.

~RACHEL

Epic Failure

2010-03-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

It wasn't long after I published that post that I realized that I had my blog on some hyper-safe setting so nobody would ever read it...GREAT. *Which, might be a blessing in disguise, I dunno if I want anybody to embarrass me by reading my stupidity*

That, my dear, invisible, imaginary friends...

Is the best example of an "epic failure"...*I hear an encore* Thank you, thank you! *Ahem* Yes...

Hullo! A blog post to rule all blog posts!

2010-03-11T20:12:00.000-06:00

I just sorta wanted to post a blog! I don't know why. And I had this old silly account..."Whimsical Rachel"...*PFFT* *LAUGHS AT MY OLD GOOFINESS* Actually, to be honest...*Is still really that stupid* HAHAHA...Yes, I know, there is nothing I can do about it. *Secretly wants to set up blogs for all my friends with GOOFY and dramatic blog names*
Anyway, I just wanted to keep a blog because I have been looking at other people's and their lives seem so interesting written out. *Just realized that mine isn't* OH WELL, it doesn't matter. I just had this really weird feeling I should start something up again. *Hears frogs and crickets outside* It has been raining a LOT here, and is now a lot warmer. (Which I'm VERY glad about.) Yesterday is stormed ALL day long, which, I'm actually thankful for. Because, I could really finish up reading Redeeming Love (which is a really great book in my opinion). I hope we have NO more cold snaps. I'm sick of winter (sorry) it's just boring and old as a Yates in the mountains of Denver!!! (If you figure out what that means, you are a pure genius.)
I want JILLIAN the dot to come visit me again! I'm bored of annoying people that aren't really friends. *OOPS* Didn't mean to let that slip out! HA. (And for your information, Jillian the DOT is not an imaginary friend - just clearing that...up in case you were wondering.) Okay, this is so stupid, and I intended to say something meaningful and nice for a change. *Drowns* Well, you see why I can't keep a personal blog - I can't write about myself without it sounding dumb and cheezy. No, it just doesn't work that way. SORRY PEOPLE.

AHH...I found this old picture on this old computer...LOL!!!! Oh my gosh...*UPLOADS IT for odd reason* I was...let's see...13?! No...Yeah. *Thanks the GOOD LORD that that is NOT me now* That was my ugliest stage, I have concluded. BLEH.

I AM A SPARTAN LADY, by the wayy! Doin' P90X workout, people! A girl at ballet noticed, when I was stretching her feet before class, my ARMS are like...GETTING RIPPED. It's so funny, everyone is noticing me bulking up! WOOHOO. I used to be RIDICULOUSLY skinny, it was embarrassing. I think there actually was a time in my life when I was underweight too. Not cause I wanted to be, or tried to be, but I think my body type is just really frail and slender. But really, *doesn't want it to be that way* I am a WARRIOR WOMANNN. Now...my ankles...I can still put my thumb and index finger all the way around it. Of course, I've got long fingers, so maybe that has something to do with it...But I made a startling observation one day at the ballet studio, that there are 10 and 11 year olds (in good shape, and weight) that have thicker ankles than me...WHAT? *Is almost 17* That is just embarrassing. Oh well!

Aw, LOOK, it's anotha' picture. I was......................I'm gonna say 14. I think it was after a ballet recital or something like that...Oh wow, I just realized I don't have BANGS anymore, that's why I feel so differente' looking!

Oh my GOSH!!!!!!!! LOL!! It's JILLIAN!!!!!! *AHH* Okay, wow...*She kills me* This is an OLDDD picture! AWWWW! *SHE must have been 14 here*

Okay, wow! There are all these pictures that I am EXTREMELY tempted to post...AHAHAHA! *SHALL NOT* *it takes up too much space anyway*

ACK! And I was JUST looking at some old posts...Dear Lord, was I really ever that stupid? *CRINGES* *Begs forgiveness* *COMMANDS NO ONE TO READ MY OLD POSTS* *you do it anyway* UGH...*Wishes I could say it was 3 years ago* *Sadly notices it was not even a year ago* Ugh. HA, and I made some typing errors! *Makes fun of myself!* But wow, I really wasn't that immature *tries to comfort myself* was I? *went through a weird stage* That must be it! *Insists up on it*

The other day at the bookstore, I noticed a book written by someone named "Rachel Lee"...I don't know why, but that maddened me! I am the ONE and ONLY Rachel Lee! Even if it isn't this person's middle name, like it is with me, that ticks me off...! *SUES* Nah. *WON'T* But still that is...annoying...!

This is the first (and may be the last) thing I ever write, but, so...?

2009-06-15T13:57:00.001-05:00

Firstly, I'm AWFUL at blogging...But a lot of other people have blogs and make it look so fun. I used to blog, but I got bored with it, and started to focus on other things. (You can probably keep in touch with me better on facebook anyway.) Well, I don't know how long this shall last, but I hope it does...

Well then again...I don't really care.

HA.

But what you should know about me is I'm a whimsical person. I sometimes get my head in the clouds, but I can stay pretty down to earth if I choose to. ;-p Seriously, now.

I love ballet and piano.. I've played the piano ever since I can remember. And SO WHAT if I DID flunk piano lessons, I formulated my own way of playing and composing music. I'm homeschooled, and hey, that might have been part of it. I was encouraged to find things out and discover in a free atmosphere.

Through ballet lessons, I've met so many amazing people, some are a lot like me. And it's fun, and I love learning more about dancing for God. That's really, really amazing to me. (I'm a huge Ballet Magnificat fan!)

I may not know many things, but what I do know is a SENSE OF HUMOR IS A MUST FOR EVERYBODY. If you don't know how to laugh, something's wrong with you (yes, it means that you must have Amanda Read syndrome.) I can diagnose anyone with Amanda Read syndrome, if I get to know their personality, and how many times a day they laugh and hug someone. If you do not hug someone more than once a week, you are sure of journeying through life with this...ahem, disease, if you will. It is a terrible disease which takes over you entirely...

She is gonna' keel me.

More ramblings...

Oh yes, I am a southern belle..

JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW! WOOHOO!

I'm a Christian (okay, obviously...) and I have 7 siblings. I'm not your average girl, I'm not all glitzy and crazy about makeup and cell phone texting, Jonas Brothers (UGHHH), or any other celebrity heartthrobs, OR Twilight, and I can shamelessly admit that I don't dig guys (I'll be honest, I think of every guy I know of as a brother, and I like it that way.)

Hey, wow, I'm straighforward, aren't I? *Puffs with pride*

This is a stupid post, isn't it?

Sorry.

*Ramblings*

But anyway, I have a heart for Jesus, and I've realized how I can care less about the world the more I know about God. Seriously, if everyone out there just picked up their Bible for about 5-10 minutes every day, it would make an impact on their life. God chose the Bible to be in this book format because, hey, that's a great way for Him to communicate with us.

Okay, I'm done.